TIMOTHY Jonas and I were engaged in light banter a few days ago, and with an intestinal smile full of amusement, he said to me that I criticise middle class all the time and I am a middle class man myself. I didn’t disagree but I did say to Timothy, class belonging also has to do with ideology.
Yes, I agree that, using strict class criteria, I am middle class, but I have never, and I mean never for an ephemeral moment, betrayed my class origin in Wortmanville in south Georgetown. I have always struggled for the liberation of the working people. My social content has always been filled with the intimate camaraderie of working-class people. Name me the middle-class people that I share deep, personal friendship with and I will stop this column right away.
Within the middle class stratum, there is a hierarchy. I am saying boldly, the evolution of my financial life has not endowed me with the resources to buy things that I want. I was deceived into buying an ice cream cone yesterday (Wednesday) for $960, which I don’t think I can afford often though I am a frenzied lover on ice-cream cone and I am a middle class man.

The machine churning cream is different and is a more delectable cream. I had two recent cone nightmares. In the first one, Charrandass Persaud and I had a late lunch last month at Popeyes’s on Vlissengen Road. On the bill, I paid for a cone to collect when we were leaving. When we were ready to leave, Charran and I went up to the cashier to collect my cone.
There was no cashier but there were 3 attendants doing different chores. All 3 attendants looked at Charran and I standing at the counter and completely ignored us. Then one of the supervisors passed out and turned to the attendants and said: “Someone is at the counter.” But we were not served. Charran insisted on the cone, but I told him I was not prepared to argue for a cone. So we left. Was it because of Freddie Kissoon, or was it Charran? I guess we will never know. If management of Popeyes’s is reading this, I would like to have my cone money reimbursed. I don’t care how tiny is the amount; it is the principle that counts.

My second ice cream cone nightmare has to do with my cousin, William Cox. I usually patronise the Banks DIH cone on Main Street. Last month, my wife’s cousin was visiting and we treated ourselves to cones there. Two weeks ago, I took my dog to have a cone. While feeding my dog, my cousin was in the outlet and he came out to talk to me. He told me that Dairy Queen in Giftland Mall sells the best cone.
So yesterday (Wednesday), I went to Massy Supermarket which took over Giftland Food Max supermarket in Giftland Mall. As I was in Giftland, I remembered what my cousin said about the Dairy Queen cone.
So I asked for a cone and produced a $1000 bill. The lone attendant gave me $40 change. I said: “no, no, I don’t want ice cream in the tub, I need a cone. She said, Sir, I know.” I replied: “Then why are you giving me back $40 change.” She said: “Sir, the cone is $960.
My favourite Bee Gees song is, “I started a joke.” There are 3 lines in that beautiful song that go like this:
“Till I finally died
Which started the whole world living
If I’d only seen that the joke was on me.”

So yesterday at Dairy Queen in Giftland Mall, I finally died and the whole world was laughing because the joke was for real. I was mentally immobilised temporarily when she said $960 so I didn’t have mental alertness to say I didn’t need it anymore. I paid $960 for a simple ice cream cone – a biscuit cup with cream in it and I still cannot get over the fact that a genetically aggressive person like me let it happen.
Do you know how much for the identical cone at any Banks DIH outlet? I should not tell you because you will not believe it. Let me assert with unlimited energy that Banks DIH cone is millions of times nicer and tastier than the one I paid $960 for yesterday. So how much for a Banks DIH cone? Believe it or leave it – $170 dollars. That is $790 less. I ask that Mr. Campbell, the franchise holder of Dairy Queen, please reimburse me $790? I will never, never in my life in Guyana, again, pay $960 for a simple ice cream cone.