Tackling the joys, challenges, and lesser-known aspects of fatherhood

SATURDAY, June 8, saw a group of unique men come together to celebrate a fantastic cause: fatherhood. Members of the Guyana Wesleyan Church hosted “Men in Concert” a day dedicated to fathers. That morning, over three hundred men gathered to celebrate their journey of raising children. Together, they are working to change the narratives surrounding fatherhood. They are tackling various issues, including relationships with fathers, new experiences, and sharing the challenges all dads face but may not talk about.

The Pepperpot Magazine sat down with three men to discuss the stages and trials of fatherhood. From becoming a new father to becoming a father figure to others, fatherhood is as tough a journey as any and twice as rewarding.
Going the extra mile.

Clairmont Boucher holds the position of superintendent of the Guyana District Wesleyan Church. Reverend Boucher, a father of three, has dedicated much of his life to his family. As Father’s Day approaches again, he spoke about the importance of celebrating the men and women in our lives, citing the excitement surrounding Mother’s Day. “Very often, as we know, when it’s Mother’s Day—and rightly so—many flowers, many wishes, the fuss that centres around celebrating mothers seems natural, comes easy for many people because in many homes fathers are absent,” he shared.

Speaking of his relationship with his father, he mentioned that he came to know him later in life. He emphasised the interesting fact that all fathers should be appreciated, regardless of when you get to know them or what role they have played. He said, “My biological father and I became very close later in my life, and that was instrumental and pivotal in changing some things in my generational line. I think as we speak of honouring our fathers, the word ‘honour’ speaks of respect, and that commandment is given to us. It doesn’t say whether he serves God or not, whether he’s been a good father or not.”

Regarding narratives, Reverend Boucher and his colleagues hope to change the idea behind conventional fatherhood. He highlighted the changing roles of fathers, stating, “We want to change the narrative, and we believe that as we seek to honour fathers—both biological and spiritual—we can change some things in our society. So this Father’s Day, we want to shout out all the fathers, all the fathers who’ve been doing not just the 9-to-5 but going the extra mile.”

Becoming a new father
Adrian Ageday remembers the exact moment he became a father. The young father says the moment he held his daughter for the first time is etched in his mind. “Becoming a father is a memory that is lodged within my mind, I believe until forever. I was at the Georgetown Public Hospital, and the nurse had to chase me home the day my daughter was coming into this world. It was a bittersweet moment because I wanted to be there. But the nurse, rightfully so, said, ‘This is a female surgical ward, and you cannot stay here, sir. But when you come back, you’ll be the first one to greet her.’ And so, when I was given that privilege to go into that room for those 10 seconds, my heart melted to see that my sweet little daughter had come into the world.”

At only 29 years old, Adrian has learned plenty about fatherhood in the few short years since his daughter’s birth. The biggest lesson he and his wife have learned is selflessness. “My daughter teaches us things that no other aspect of life could have shown us. Teaching her to walk, to talk, to hold a spoon, to greet people, and so on. Seeing her with her different moods and attitudes, hearing her get up in the middle of the night and say, ‘Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,’ because something bit her or something is scratching her skin, and without fail, without even thinking about how tired you might be.”

As someone with countless father figures, this Father’s Day, Adrian urges us to appreciate the men who have taken up the mantle. He states, “Your biological father might not be here with you this Father’s Day, but I’m sure there are other men—probably an uncle, a grandfather, a godfather, a spiritual father, a youth pastor, or someone in your assembly. Whoever it may be, you can show them love this Father’s Day. You don’t have to go to great extents; whatever you can do, men appreciate it. No matter how small the token might be, men appreciate it.”

The mental stress of fatherhood
The mental stress of fatherhood is not something that is talked about enough. Assistant Superintendent of the Wesleyan Church, Julian Paul, is working towards changing that. Coming from a broken home and now a father himself, Reverend Paul is a voice for men who may not be ready to share their challenges. He shared, “There are times when many dads don’t really know how to express themselves in words towards their children or their family, but they show their love and care by hard work and supporting their family.”

Reverend Paul further emphasised the importance of support among men, stating, “Sometimes it’s not easy to be a man. However, it is told to us that as men, we must be able to share our trials, concerns, troubles, and difficulties with other men so that we can have people in our lives who will be a source of encouragement, who can boost us to go on in spite of the many challenges in life.”

As yet another Father’s Day comes, going the extra mile is important. Although socks, ties, and cards are welcome, talk to the men in your life and let your father know just how much you care.