LAST Monday, after my article appeared on men not talking, I heard a celebrity talk openly about his feelings in a ‘no-holds barred’ chat.
Tyrese Gibson, world-famous actor and rapper revealed his hurt and disillusionment at the breakup of his marriage on the popular Joe Budden podcast.
Whether one agrees with all that he had to say about the circumstances surrounding his divorce, one statement resonated with me. He contended that while discussion on mental health was now being encouraged, “the door was still not open” for men to talk freely about their feelings.

And there was no mistaking the fact that the actor was still struggling to come to terms with the aftermath of his divorce and the myriad emotions he was experiencing. He referred to one instance where he broke down in tears on social media for all to see.
For him, an effective part of his therapy was to talk it out and the same view was reflected by a store worker on a Facebook reel, who was asked about the troubles he was currently facing.
The young, single father revealed his worry over his son, who was hospitalised with no visitors, and the pressure he was feeling, to the interviewer – a complete stranger.

The point is, regardless of our social status or environment, we all need to unburden ourselves from time to time, especially when situations threaten to overwhelm us.
In the case of the store worker, it was simply the fact that the interviewer, who was seeking random people to help financially, had asked him, ‘How is your day going?’ – and it all came out.
Sometimes a simple question or some small matter is all it takes for the walls we have built around our emotions to come tumbling down and we may find that once we start, we cannot stop talking about our mental distress.

Whether man, woman, child or couple, we all need to be able to talk to someone about those things which affect us psychologically or emotionally and ultimately take a toll on our mental wellness.
Experts tell us that women find this easier to do than men, because for so long it was not considered ‘manly’ to discuss or even admit to having ‘feelings.’

We are advised to take small steps when first we begin to discuss the way we feel. A simple statement like, ‘Ah vex about this’ or ‘Ah feel bad about that’ can lead to further talk about the matter. Over time it also becomes easier to express these feelings, leading to further and more detailed conversations.
KidsHealth also tells children, “No matter how you feel – good or bad – it helps to put your feelings into words. Talking about feelings can help you feel close to people who care…Putting feelings into words helps you use self-control when you feel mad or upset.” And this applies to us all.

Even if you do not know the reason for why you feel a certain way you can say, ‘Ah vex about this, but ah don’t even know why’. In doing this we begin the process of talking through what we feel and seeking solutions.
There are times, however, when we need to decide who to talk to. Children may choose a friend, a parent or grandparent or even a pastor. We as adults may ‘go the same route’ in choosing someone close to us. However, we also should recognise when professional help is needed from someone qualified to listen closely to us and assist us in finding solutions.