SHORTLY after my twin son died in a car crash last August in Diamond, there was a horrendous accident close to our home in Golden Grove on the East Bank of Demerara.
Apparently, the driver of a car was attempting a U-turn in the vicinity of what locals call Jimbo Bridge, in Grove. He was unable to complete the maneuver and the car was hit by an oncoming truck.

Four passengers in the car – all members of the same family – died, including a pregnant woman, but the drivers of both vehicles survived, as did two children.
Co-incidentally, the family of the deceased lived directly opposite our house in Grove and so I went to pay my respects. Then I learned that the folks who died were on their way to pay a visit and the car driver, who was unfamiliar with area, missed the turn, leading to attempt the U-turn further up the road.

Apart from my sorrowful realisation that while tragedy had just struck me, it had devastated and indeed decimated this family, I began to wonder about the two drivers. What was happening to them?

The driver of the car was apparently at fault for attempting such a turn on a major road, but I felt sure the truck driver, even if blameless, would surely feel the trauma of being involved in the death of so many.

I was shocked to later hear emotional members of the public, declaring the truck driver responsible, had dragged him out of his vehicle and beaten him badly. I became even more concerned about the mental state of this young man and equally so about the driver of the car who would no doubt be feeling responsible.

Too often we pursue the legal angle to cases like these, and those involving gender-based or domestic violence, and pay insufficient attention to the mental state of all the parties concerned.
In the case of the motor accident, especially given the horror of it, the family and both drivers should receive counselling in order to process their trauma. Regardless of where blame lies, everyone involved would need the guidance of a mental health professional to help them navigate through the veritable forest of conflicting emotions which would undoubtedly be assailing them.

Likewise in interpersonal and domestic violence cases, both the victim and perpetrator need professional help to stem what often turns into a circle of violence, with the victims being drawn into other abusive relationships and the abusers continuing their violent ways.

At its fundamental level, counselling is simply a means of helping people overcome obstacles and personal challenges they are facing.
Professional counselling is defined by the American Counselling Association as “…a professional relationship that empowers diverse individuals, families and groups to accomplish mental health, wellness, education and career goals.”

It seems to me, therefore, that we all at one time or another in our lives, needed counselling though in previous years much of it may have been done informally. And while we do not have a culture in this country of going for counselling, now, in these changing times, where professional help is available, we should not feel reticent nor ashamed to seek it.

The professional counsellor works with families, groups or individuals helping them to cope with thoughts, feelings and behaviours. They help clients work through issues related to parenting, substance abuse and various mental illnesses such as depression and suicidal thoughts.

They provide a safe and confidential space where an individual can discuss freely whatever is bothering them, without fear of criticism or judgement and help point clients in positive directions, informed by what they themselves have to say.