By Vanessa Cort
IN a recent article about a young woman who very publicly died by suicide – posting her intention and several messages over social media – I asked what depth of depression would lead someone to carry out such an act?
The complex nature of suicide means that there are varied answers to this question, but Guyanese, Shirvington Hannays, a licensed counselling therapist, based in Canada supplied the fundamental answer.
“People don’t commit suicide because they want to die,” he says, “it’s that they get to a point of hopelessness.” And, in conjunction with this hopelessness, is a feeling of helplessness, which really forms the basis of all suicides.
Hannays explains, in a recent interview, that persons who take their own life are seeking to end the pain they feel when they arrive at a place of hopelessness. “There is a feeling that the situation, whatever it is, will never change,” the therapist says, adding, “you’re doing something and getting the same result over and over (and) nobody can help.”
He also clarifies that panic attacks, so often cited in discussions on mental health, are caused by “anything you think you don’t have the capacity to deal with,” and so it can happen to anyone. A fight, flight or freeze reaction is triggered and signals a disorder when the attacks become chronic.
The feeling of helplessness occurs in this and other situations because the person then feels utterly incapable of changing their circumstances and this in turn leads to pain, which can almost seem physical in its intensity. It is in order to end this pain that the individual may resort to suicide. It is seen as the only option.
As someone who is trained in running interventions and providing a ‘safe place’ for people to talk, Hannays comments it is not enough, nor is it advisable to simply tell people that suicide is not a way out.
“You have to acknowledge that suicide is an option, but then quickly follow up by telling them it is not the only option.” In his position as counsellor/therapist, he provides a forum for individuals to tell their stories and then encourages them to consider other options, candidly saying this may only be for a while until they can get further help.
This strategy is part of the larger sphere of rational emotive behaviour therapy, aimed at helping individuals view their situation rationally.
“Many view their life and what is expected of them irrationally,” he points out, noting that these unrealistic goals then become unattainable and quickly lead to despair. Part of his job is to change this perspective and get people to the point where they will revise their thinking and consider alternative pathways forward.
It is a task for which he too has to be both physically and mentally prepared, hence he urges, “We need to look honestly at ourselves and then we can deal with our mental wellness.”
As the US National Institute on Mental Health says, “Mental health includes emotional, psychological and social well-being…Mental health is more than the absence of a mental illness – it’s essential to your overall health and quality of life.”
And Hannays was surely echoing the words of the 14th Dalai Lama, who said, “When there is too much stress or worry look within.”