A Journey through the decades
By Shaniya Harding

IN 1994, Edward Bacchus experienced some transformative life events that would have been considered unbearable for many. With the death of his wife, which left Bacchus to care for their three children, their own lives had seemingly taken a turn for the worst. But because of his unrelenting pursuit for a better life for his children, Bacchus pushed on. With faith and the love of a father, he succeeded.

The role of a father goes far beyond providing financial support or teaching them to ride a bike. To many men, being a father is a gift; a way they define themselves. Edward Bacchus, also known as Eddie, is one such man. He has seen enough of fatherhood in all his 84 years of living. Now he lives a quiet life with his son. But as he recounted his journey over the years, he shared how much he has overcome and what it has taught him.

The early years

In 1977 with the birth of his first child, Eddie describes it as the beginning of perhaps one of the most difficult periods in his life. He was living on the East Coast while working a modest job in a hydraulics company while his wife, Niesha, worked as a nurse. Together, they were a couple against the world. It was just my wife, my children and my sister that I was taking care of. There was nobody else, just us,” he recalls.

During this time, the Bacchus family’s challenges grew as Eddie lost his job. At the time living in Kitty, ends became harder to meet and providing for his children was becoming more of a challenge each day. “Those years were rough. It was hard to bring up children without a job. We moved from place to place, finding money for school, sleeping and living accommodations. The kids were punished. They were really punished, but we made it, and I’m so proud of them today,” Eddie said.

The family began to see better times through their resilience as the years went on. He said one of his happiest memories was when his son graduated from St Angela’s Primary and earned a place at Queen’s College. “I couldn’t believe it. Then my other son started to attend St Joseph’s High. And those are some memories I will have until I die,” he said. When asked why these memories were so important to him, he explained it was because he was able to give his children the one thing that could ensure them a better life than his: education.

The loss of his wife
Life is unpredictable. The best we can do as people is to prepare ourselves. But nothing could have prepared Eddie for the death of his wife. It wasn’t sudden; she fell sick in 1994 and died 15 years later in 2009. Speaking about his wife, Eddie fondly reminisces just how good of a mother she was during their 35 years of marriage. “Married for 35 years, she never left, I never left. She was instrumental in the upbringing of the children. Making sure the children went to school, did their chores and everything. But in 1994, she became sick. I took her to a lot of hospitals and doctors. No one could find anything wrong with her. She was a complicated case,” he explained.

And her complications only grew over the years. It was during this time that Eddie undertook even more roles and responsibilities. He was now a father and caretaker. Eddie recounted how their family dynamic changed: “I tried all kinds of things. I did my best. For 15 years, I struggled with her and pushed her to feel better; to keep going.” In the years that followed, Eddie made a total of nine trips to Trinidad and Tobago in pursuit of better health for his wife.

After some time, Eddie said the children knew their mother was sick. “We tried everything. And I had to be there with them. She would still do things, like cook, but she wasn’t well. And the children realised their mother was sick. At the time, they were teenagers, so they knew,” he said. And in 2009, with children ranging in age from 11 to 17, his wife died. Looking back now, Eddie never considered himself a single father because, to him, his wife never left. It took a lot out of the family, and when Eddie was asked what was his motivation to go on, he stated, “Because we had to.”

Looking back
Today, Eddie leads a quiet simple life in La Parfait Harmonie with his second son, daughter-in-law and his two grandsons. Looking back, there isn’t anything Eddie says he would have done differently. “Maybe if I had the money, there are things I would have done differently. But I didn’t, so I had to depend on what I had. And with what I had, I wouldn’t have done anything differently. My whole motivation was for them to have an education and morality. And that doesn’t call for money,” Eddie said.

Since the birth of his first son some 46 years ago, Eddie ensured his children got a few things. The first one was education. “My whole ambition for them was to make sure they had an education. I had no big money. I had no savings, and we were renting. I wanted them to be educated. Like most parents, I wanted them to be someone better than I was,” he shared.

Even today, Eddie has an unbreakable bond with each of his children. At 84, he still plays a very active role in their lives, as he considers fatherhood something that will never end. Eddie believes he has reached thus far with his children, not just due to his strength or courage but largely due to his relationships with each of them.”No child is born a prostitute or criminal. It’s you, the parents, who cause that. You have to monitor your children. You have to be there for them,” Eddie opined.

On this Father’s Day, Eddie and many fathers like himself celebrate the work they have done and continue to do. From raising us and making us laugh and teaching us how to be better people, fathers are irreplaceable. So let’s celebrate our heroes without capes this Father’s Day.