PARENTHOOD is a rewarding yet challenging role. Aside from being responsible for an entire human being’s wants and needs—you’re also faced with many personal conflicts and emotions about your said role. I am sure some parents feel guilty on occasion if they deem some of their actions ineffective for child-rearing. That guilt is not selective to any specific gender or parent but for the purpose of this article and the significance of the day—I’d like to enlighten you on the topic of “mom guilt”. The guilt by itself can be a separate difficulty that mothers experience on a daily basis. Guilt is a complex yet normal emotion. However, too much guilt to feel can be overwhelming and unhealthy as well. It’s okay to feel guilt, but it’s not okay to allow it to consume you.

Mothers worry or experience “guilt trips” daily because they may feel as though they are not doing enough as a mother. It’s a feeling of inadequacy that can eventually lead to the feeling of guilt. The underlying causes of this may vary from individual to individual. From a person’s beliefs on what the perfect parent may look like, their inability to provide certain wants or needs for their child and even when they make certain parenting mistakes when disciplining their child—just to name a few. It is said that new moms are more susceptible to this feeling. In most cases, this guilt often stems from an unrealistic ideology of what the perfect mother looks like.

You shouldn’t be upset at yourself because you’re experiencing “mom guilt”, instead, you can learn to introspect. I can assure you that you are not alone. I’m sure many, if not all, mothers have experienced “mom guilt” at least once in their journey of motherhood. Like the rest of the world, Guyana has many traditional expectations of what and who a mother should be. With that in mind, many mothers may feel overwhelming pressure from society and even from their very own family members when they do not live up to certain societal expectations.

I’ve spoken to many “career-driven” women who are mothers, and it has greatly impacted them. The idea of “leaving” your children in the care of a babysitter or daycare while you’re at work can guilt trip mothers. Mothers who can’t breastfeed their children in the ways they ought to can also feel an immense sense of guilt. They even blame their bodies for not providing in the way they want to for their children. Mothers who took out their frustration or anger on their children perhaps also felt guilt after they’ve reached a level of calmness. It’s okay, you’re human and your emotions can sometimes be unwavering. Just be sure that you don’t make said outbursts a pattern of behaviour and you learn to apologise to your children when you’re in the wrong as well.

Motherhood can be a complex, lonely and even conflictual journey and if you’re unable to cope effectively—don’t be afraid to reach out for help from trusted people, support groups or organisations in your community. You should be able to take a break whenever you can—it’s okay to prioritise yourself and your self’s care. Establish a weekly routine of self-care activities so you won’t feel overwhelmed and overworked by all of your responsibilities. As difficult as motherhood sounds, it can be rewarding as well. You ought to remind yourself that “mom guilt” is completely normal but should not be allowed to cloud your judgement of the entirety of motherhood and the decisions you make for your child or children. It is my hope that this Mother’s Day marks the start of you feeling less guilty and more fulfilled about the sacrifices and decisions you make for your children. You have one of the world’s greatest yet challenging roles, and I hope you give yourself more credit for what you do.