IF children can’t learn the way you teach, teach them the way they learn. That is a famous quote, but right now, some people haven’t got the time or inclination to teach their children anything. They have little regard for whether their child learns successfully or falls by the wayside. Their concern for their offspring’s future is so small that they fail to support their child academically from a young age.

From birth, babies have an inherent desire to attach themselves to an adult or caregiver, seeking comfort and safety (and food). As they grow, it is for adults to expose babies, toddlers and children to different things from which they can learn and to consider their child’s social, emotional, intellectual, spiritual and physical development.

We need to put things in place for children against the backdrop of whatever else we have happening in our lives – we must prioritise their welfare. Not so we can boast and swell our heads as we show off their achievements and compare them to their less-abled peers. No, we nurture children to give them the best chance in life, to help them manage their lives responsibly and moderately. So they develop coping mechanisms, problem-solving skills and critical thinking instead of negative traits such as emotional outbursts, alcoholism, lying, cheating, cussing people and deceiving others.

Did you know the most critical years for child development are from birth to three? And by that age, 80 per cent of a child’s brain has already developed. What goes into that brain during those crucial three years and how it is allowed to flourish is the job of parents, family members and day care staff. Attachment to parents and caregivers for little ones (0 -5) is one of the attributes that help children learn well and grow healthy.

Depending on the relationship between child and adult, there are different attachments, but a ‘secure attachment’ is the best to have with a child. A secure attachment develops when a child has a good relationship with his primary carer(s). When they are separated the child will still learn, play and interact confidently with others, (adults and children) until his primary carer returns.

People get vexed when a child separated from his parent or carer, cries. The longer the child cries, the more intolerant people behave. They fail to see the child’s distress; he is insecure. His tears are a testament to how he feels without his ‘attached’ person. Attachments are important to small children; some infants will not play with others unless they know their ‘attached’ person will be watching and waiting in the wings (for them) and in case of a mishap.

Likewise, when two people have a child, the baby is attached to both parents. Although the child will grow and build relationships with siblings, grannies, uncles and aunts, no bond will be as strong as the one with parents. If one or both parents go away, it can significantly impact the child’s state of mind leading to physical illness or an adverse change in behaviour that can have a life-long effect.

Children are not toys for people to play with as they choose. They are small people with feelings, trying to navigate the world with the support and encouragement of adults. The pain of neglect and abandonment are real and deep-rooted for children, and even though they cannot talk or describe the feeling, children know when they are safe and comfortable, and when they have suffered a loss. Do not underestimate the awareness of children.

If parents sing to their baby at two months and read a book to the baby at three months, the infant will get used to these delights. He will learn from the tone of voice used in the story, from seeing the pictures and facial expressions to hearing the words. Once the parent/carer consistently shares and spends time with the baby, the child will become receptive.

Some still think that sharing stories and rhymes with babies is silly. They believe babies are too young to understand such things; when, in fact, they are the ones who do not understand. They fail to grasp the concept that children start learning from day one, even though they cannot talk or even coo – the brain is already at work gaining and processing information.

By the time children are three years old, and long before they enter primary school, their parents or family member should teach them primary education, such as counting from one to ten at least; and the alphabet (without singing the alphabet song). They should know their colours; recognise letters and numbers, and have a concentration span that enables them to sit and listen to a story or sit quietly looking at a book.

Sadly, some children reach secondary school age and can barely write a sentence. They’ve fallen through the net and missed out on education. Although it is never too late to learn how to read and write, it takes a patient person to teach an older child (or an adult) basic educational skills; a foundation that should be built in infancy.

Some parents have a fantastic relationship with their children. They constantly challenge and test them by asking questions. They teach them knowledge and share relevant information; they encourage them by ensuring they have the right clothes, equipment and nourishment to attend school. Along with providing love, affection and security, they have put measures in place for their child to succeed.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child, call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com
A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF HUMAN SERVICES AND SOCIAL SECURITY