HEADLINES like this will always attract readers and viewers everywhere, but since it’s not a regular story, anywhere, it remains off front-page headlines; and the topic is simply taboo among politicians, and equally rare in court rulings.

And even when it happens, like twice in the last four months in Saint Lucia, it’s not reported like that.

Many everywhere dearly wish (and some actually dream about it) to see politicians being jailed by the courts for committing crimes everyone else will be jailed for, but it’s actually happening in the Caribbean.

In July 2021, former Chief Minister of Montserrat David Brant was sentenced to 15 years on two sex charges involving ‘under-aged’ girls.

Earlier, in April 2021, Donville Inniss, a former Barbados parliamentarian and Cabinet Minister, was sentenced by a US federal court in New York to two years in jail for laundering bribe payments from a Barbados-based insurance company through banks on Long Island.

But that’s not enough for those concerned about how public funds are managed, and wish for and dream of wider investigative nets and more prosecutions.

To them, politicians aren’t jailed often enough either, for bringing their offices into disrepute, many opting to resign or pay fines, or otherwise pay their dues to avoid doing time.

However, three cases in Saint Lucia’s courts are attracting related attention, with two already resulting in the conviction of former Opposition Leaders, and a third being processed against the current Opposition Leader.

In the case against Opposition Leader Allen Chastanet involving public funds, the Attorney-General’s Office has revived longstanding efforts to recover outstanding sums in the decade-old matter.

Chastanet hasn’t denied the charge of Malfeasance in Public Office, instead arguing that as Prime Minister and Minister for Finance, it didn’t make financial sense to spend $250,000 (costs incurred to date) to recover $38,000 paid to the popular Caribbean band, Third World, to perform on his 2011 election campaign platform.

With two politicians currently doing time at the island’s correctional facility, Saint Lucians are, naturally, watching Chastanet’s case.

But, listening to him talking to reporters about it, Chastanet sounds not the least bit worried.

Last week, he said he was “Sorry for Marcus…” in relation to the sentencing of former Opposition Leader Marcus Nicholas on a tax fraud charge, but also pointed out it was more of a personal than a political matter.

But Chastanet loudly lauded the Office of the Director of Public Prosecution (DPP) for having successfully prosecuted a two-decades-old Child Abuse case.

And now, he’s lodged a case in Saint Lucia’s High Court, seeking a judicial review of the conclusion of an outstanding 2015 matter involving a Customs & Excise Department case against former Saint Lucia High Commissioner in London Dr. Ernest Hilaire, now the island’s Deputy Prime Minister.

Chastanet’s administration pursued Dr. Hilaire, legally and politically, ever since the Saint Lucia Labour Party (SLP) lost the 2016 elections; and the Comptroller of Customs seized the Land Rover Discovery SUV involved, just ahead of the July 2021 elections.

Chastanet, also Leader of the United Workers Party (UWP), claims the SUV Dr. Hilaire drives was bought in London in the High Commission’s name, but imported to the island in Dr. Hilaire’s name; and that the charges against him followed two years of the ex-diplomat failing to provide required proof of purchase.

Despite the UWP’s best efforts, the case wasn’t heard before the July 2021 General Elections, and the matter eventually went to Arbitration.

The July elections resulted in Regime Change and the Comptroller of Customs withdrew the charges five months later, in December 2021.

Four months later, on April 5, 2022, Chastanet launched the 17-page Application for Judicial Review of the withdrawal of the case during Arbitration, claiming that the new Comptroller has not given any reason, to him or the public.

Accusing the Comptroller and the Attorney-General’s Office of “serious violations of the rules of natural justice and due process of law”, and not following the Customs Control and Management Act, the Opposition Leader is asking the High Court to quash the Comptroller’s withdrawal.

Lawyers in-the-know say it’s so important the UWP break Dr. Hilaire’s back with this SUV matter, they swear that if the High Court doesn’t give him what he’s asked for, Chastanet will be prepared to put the matter in the hands of “the Law Lords” of the British Privy Council.

And that will surely again bring into focus the ongoing important discussion about Saint Lucia’s decision to join the Appellate Jurisdiction of the Caribbean Court of Justice (CCJ).

The Privy Council’s reputation for taking a legal eternity to hear Caribbean cases has allowed it to also be used as a maximum-delay tool by litigants who can afford, as well as by politicians seeking to cripple their local opponents.

The Privy Council is unlikely to hear such a case before the CCJ becomes Saint Lucia’s Final Court of Appeal, and, if so, the position would be interesting thereafter.

Given the long-standing related hostility between Chastanet and Dr. Hilaire and the UWP leadership’s gut feeling that they have what it’ll take to roast him in earnest, the matter is not likely to end up in a Cold Case file.

Instead, this latest chapter only adds one more to an ongoing story about the politics of pursuing politics with only parties and politicians in mind, instead of being guided by principles, and with no end in near sight.

No date has yet been set for the judicial review of the SUV case, or for the first hearing of the revived malfeasance case.

But, whenever and wherever it ends, it’s sure to feature as another hot precedent in future cases before the CCJ, and the region’s Court of Public Opinion.