TWO very saddening issues dominated news reports this past week: the brutality of a businessman against his daughter (and, based on reports, other family members) over several years and the fatal stabbing of Savitri Raj- a mother of three.

In the former case, thankfully, the young, brave woman has been able to secure a lifetime protection order from the court. The businessman has been ordered to keep 1,000 feet away from the young woman, though she can have the order changed if she desires.

It was quite unsettling listening to this man defend his actions during an interview with a local social media commentator. And it was quite unsettling seeing the social defence of this man from no less a person than his son, who has reportedly witnessed his abuse for years.

But what was most interesting, for me, were his attempts at victim-blaming his daughter. It was unbelievable just how this man felt empowered enough to speak to a live audience, in front of his family, about his brutality and do so by describing the young woman as “wayward” and “difficult.” The man said, “she is a child that[sic] wants to live her own life,” as if that could ever, EVER, justify his abuse.

Can you fathom the sheer amount of gaslighting I am almost certain his daughter had to endure as a young girl and into womanhood? And if there was no camera footage to corroborate the young woman’s experiences, can you begin to fathom the aspersions that might have been cast on her?

Because the abuse of children by their parents is something enduringly normalised in our society, I think this man felt that he could’ve hopped on social media and solicited sympathy for his actions. If you couldn’t immediately discern that his actions were abusive and not actions of a loving, overprotective parent (as he described himself), then you might be swayed into thinking that yes, maybe he was wrong to kick the woman, but at least his intentions were in the right place.

First of all, it’s a no for me. You don’t have to be an expert to know that this man’s actions were abusive and nothing else. There is no amount of justification that could ever explain it. But it simply breaks my heart, knowing that this man indeed found some sympathy and acceptance from other parents who may very well be in the same positions of power that he was in.

I’m glad that the young woman was able to secure some amount of protection from the judicial system, and I can only hope that she gets the necessary psychological help to heal herself from the trauma she endured.

And I am most definitely proud of how brave she was in coming out and sharing her story- knowing how unforgiving some societal actors can be at times, especially when it’s about normalised, problematic behaviours (such as parents having the apparent God-given right to abuse children).

But, there’s something else to consider. Dr Gabrielle Hosein, who has served as the Head of the Institute for Gender and Development Studies (IGDS) at the University of the West Indies (UWI)- St. Augustine campus, addressed the brutalisation of women.

“Before men kill, there are always patterns of threat, control, anger, cruelty, and rape so normalised that they are commonly excused,” Dr Hosein wrote in a column published in the Trinidad and Tobago Newsday in February.

This past week, I wondered what further harm might have been caused to this young woman if she didn’t speak out against her father’s abuse. I wonder, as I said before, whether we would’ve believed her without the video evidence to support her complaints.

And this, coupled with Dr Hosein’s column, made me think about Savitri.

Based on local reports, Savitri was horrifically murdered in her sleep. Her husband, family members believe, covered the woman’s mouth and stabbed her in her sleep. Several weeks before this gruesome act, the man struck Savitri in her head with a Guinness stout bottle, prompting the woman to make a report. And on the day before their scheduled court appearance, the man reportedly killed the woman.

Save for the reports of the abuse meted out to her that preceded the scheduled court appearance, we may never understand the level of abuse Savitri experienced. And now, we will never know how she might’ve benefitted from institutional support- had the judicial system similarly provided her with some level of protection (as it did to the businessman’s daughter).

And once again, we’re here mourning the horrific death of another woman- another mother. Each time I write about violence against women it becomes increasingly saddening, but I hope that with each passing day, in honour of the women we should’ve been able to save, I hope that we can unlearn some of our problematic notions and truly eliminate the scourge of all violence against all women.

If you would like to discuss this column or any of my previous writings, please feel free to contact me via email: vish14ragobeer@gmail.com