THE word ‘tween’ is the modern-day definition for pre-adolescence; a tween is any child between 8 and 12 years. During this stage of childhood, physical and mental changes begin to occur. Some primary school girls shoot up (with a growth spurt) and start developing breasts.

Although the child may look and feel awkward in his/her changing body, adults can help by reassuring the tween that the transition is natural. Adults need to prepare their ‘tween’ for other changes over the coming years and help them create a hygiene regime that will keep them feeling confident and healthy.

Children need to learn about personal hygiene as early as they can understand; it prevents them from getting ill and catching germs. Washing hands after using the toilet is basic hygiene. Encourage children to wash their hands after touching pets, playing outdoors, before they eat, and at appropriate intervals. They should brush their teeth at least twice a day, bathe at least once, and up to three times a day if necessary (especially after exertion or exercise).

For some children, there comes a time when they do not take their hygiene seriously. Some children lie about brushing their teeth or pretend to have bathed, but their back is as dry as a bone when they exit the shower. It doesn’t matter to them if their teeth are yellow and fuzzy, whether they have worn the same clothes for three days, or if they smell funky.

Parents must not let this type of behaviour get out of hand -they must explain to tweens the necessity of good hygiene and why it is part of our daily routine. If parents must monitor children for a while, so be it, until the message sinks in. It may call for someone standing by the bathroom door as they enter and checking their back and shoulders for evidence when they leave. Do it if you have to parents, but make sure they bathe!

While their bodies grow and change, so should their hygiene routines, which may mean brushing teeth more frequently, showering and changing clothes more often, and wearing deodorant. Tween bodies produce sweat glands where none were before – in their armpits, groin and feet; this opens up a whole new smelly experience.

Parents should ensure that children are used to feeling fresh, clean, healthy and self-assured. They should not have to worry about running out of deodorant or not having clean undies. Parents, please remind tweens that deodorant goes on after they bathe and is not applied to mask the smell of sweaty armpits.

Children must have a good set of underwear to choose from, so they can change whenever they need to, without fear of running out of clean, fresh undergarments. Tween girls may need a few training bras when their breasts develop. Mothers, aunties, grannies and big sisters usually know when the time is right to buy these, but don’t turn the occasion into a drama and make the tween feel awkward about maturing – body development is natural.

When girls start developing breasts, Parents should acknowledge the same discreetly, instead of drawing everyone’s attention to the fact and talking about the same on the phone with friends and family.

It can be embarrassing for children when their developing bodies are the topic of conversation or the brunt of grown-up humour. Developing children have enough to deal with without thoughtless parents having ‘kicks’ at their expense or blabbing their business. Personal stages of tween development need to be handled tactfully by parents.

Tweens need sensible adults they can talk to – adults who answer their questions ‘down-to-earth’, adults who guide them with unconditional love, non-judgement and understanding.

Entering puberty can be particularly hard for girls who are, one moment climbing trees and playing ‘ketcha’ and the next, having to deal with stomach cramps and periods. Mothers, guardians or carers must supply a good stock of sanitary towels and teach girls why same should be changed regularly and disposed of hygienically.

Accidents can happen while girls are coming to terms with this new aspect of their feminine existence. But don’t blow things out of proportion or make a scene if they do. Try to deal rationally with any incidents that occur; show consideration. It takes some girls longer than others to get used to monthly periods.

Boys produce sperm and start to ejaculate between 11 and 15 years. However, it could happen to boys as young as 10 years old. Night-time ejaculations are known as ‘wet dreams’. It may be more appropriate for men to discuss sperm, erections, and ejaculations with boys rather than women.

For example, the brain instigates erections; they are not dirty or disgraceful, but boys need to learn tact and diplomacy. In time they will learn to care for, and control their bodies. Men can teach this better than women. When talking to tween boys, the approach taken needs to be simple, friendly and open -allow them to ask questions.

It is better to have things out in the open and discuss puberty with tweens before they are in the thick of things. Parents can lead up to it over the years by pointing out the inevitable transition that all humans experience. This approach might be better than loading all the information into one ‘tween’ conversation, which might be overwhelming.

Tweens may know a great deal already from their peers or older siblings. However, it is always best when parents make the first move and initiate those all-important conversations that show they care.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child, call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com
A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF HUMAN SERVICES AND SOCIAL SECURITY