OVER the years, we have encouraged parents to share morals and values with children. Authentic role modelling by adults, however, is the most effective way for children to pick up good qualities. People of high integrity, honesty and good character (in a child’s life) are worth their weight in gold – they cannot be bought nor sold. But what are morals, and when should parents start teaching them to children?

We can describe morals as the concept of right and wrong or the code of conduct instilled in us as children. Everyone needs a moral compass, a place within them to judge right from wrong – justice and truth. A place where we evaluate and make decisions. Children should be introduced to morals in a child-appropriate manner as soon as they are old enough to understand right from wrong. Morals are an essential component in shaping their behaviour, attitude and character.

When toddlers play together, they need to learn how to share and empathise with others. Helping children take turns and teaching them that other children have feelings sounds simple, but some adults do not know that ethics (the acceptable way of doing things) are not inherent; parents must teach them to children.

If children are not directed correctly by adults, they could develop bullying tactics early on and have no reaction or care toward the despair of another child. These unpleasant traits may be harder to correct as the child grows. The earlier children learn that the world does not revolve around them, and others must be considered at all times, the better.

As children grow and develop a better scope of the world they inhabit, and their place therein, opportunities will arise for parents to teach more profound qualities that will enhance personality and promote sound character in children. Around 2 to 3 years old, when children learn how to tell lies, adults must encourage them to tell the truth, regardless of the consequences.

Young children will not understand the significance of honesty, but parents can explain it as they grow – honesty is the best policy. Children should be accustomed to telling the truth naturally and feel good for doing so. Telling the truth is soul–gratifying. Encouraging a child to be honest, does not mean the child will never tell a white lie or twist the truth to suit.

But when he strays from the truth, the child is aware; it provokes his moral compass. Hopefully, common sense will prevail and steer him back to correctness. Likewise, when a child steals something, regardless of what it is or how small, if possible, the item must be returned by the child. Parents must explain to children why stealing is wrong. There is no rewarding feeling associated with theft. Taking another person’s property can never be justified.

If children grow among a succession of unappealing, dishonest people, it is harder for them to learn the essence of honesty and apply the same to their lives. They should establish a thirst for the truth early, to recognise how it enhances character and life chances. Children are a work in progress, constantly evolving, and as their minds expand, they must learn to be true to themselves first. Taking the time to think, evaluate and conclude is fair, sincere and honest. Opinions should never be influenced by others or formed at face value.

Loyalty is a value that is rarely taught or explained to children, although it is crucial for building their stability and resolve. Commitment to a project, person or cause helps children embrace a sense of purpose and cultivate good decision–making skills for the future. When teaching loyalty to young children, parents can explain ‘it is the forming and keeping of promises we make’. The contract may be to ourselves or others.

It may mean standing by someone through thick and thin or speaking out on their behalf. Loyalty may involve compromise or putting someone’s needs before their own. But parents must remember that positive and negative experiences build character in children.
Unfortunately, some adults are not trustworthy; they are disloyal, unfaithful and bad at making decisions. They may impulsively decide to do or complete something and then look for a ‘get-out-easy’ clause at the first hurdle or sign of a rocky road, with little consideration of how their actions affect others.

Teaching children to respect their fellowmen will help their social-emotional development. Human beings are equal; they enter and leave earth in the same way. While we are here, we should show respect, regardless of age, colour, creed, religion, culture or (lack of) wealth. Children should not look down on others. Adults should explain that people do not choose to be born into unpleasant, long-suffering situations. And most people do not foresee dilemmas that befall them in life. A kind word and a please, thank you or show of courtesy is not hard to extend to anyone; it should come naturally.

Adults who respect themselves and each other are good role models for children – they teach them manners and desist from name-calling, shouting, swearing and cursing each other. They do not feign respect for others; it is inherent; they understand we are all one fundamentally. Respecting others is being sensitive to someone’s feelings and showing you care. Help children respect people, their property, opinions, and differences. Teach them to be thoughtful of others and to exercise qualities such as patience and grace.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child, call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com
A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF HUMAN SERVICES AND SOCIAL SECURITY