THE most effective way to protect children from sexual abuse will always be prevention. Parents can think of preventive measures that enhance child sexual safety. It is their responsibility. Children should not have to worry about protecting themselves.

Here are five approaches for parents to consider. 1) Do not leave children in the care of people you do not know well or with those of dubious character. 2) Do not leave children alone for long periods or vulnerable circumstances. 3)Teach children no one should touch their private parts, or ask them to do anything of a sexual nature 4) Explain to children why they must speak out (tell parents or a responsible adult) when they feel uncomfortable in any situation for any reason. 5) Talk to children about sexual abuse and staying safe. Empower them to be resilient, discreet and smart, make them feel valued.

To summarise, nurturing children to be self-assured and perceptive of potential danger is the first line of defence against child sexual abuse. Parents must teach them what to do if they feel uncomfortable. Talk to children about sexual safety in an age-appropriate manner. After which, the child should explain what they have learnt, so parents know they clearly understand.

Sadly, child sexual abuse could happen to any child when least expected. People in trusted positions, family members, coaches, teachers, old family friends and neighbours can perpetrate sexual abuse; therefore, parents must not become complacent. A close relative may single out and pay special attention to a child in his/her family. He/she may use play-fighting and tickling as a cover while touching the child inappropriately but accidentally on purpose.

While the person cunningly grooms the child, the youngster does not realise his relative’s sinister intent. It is this simple to initiate sexual abuse under the guise of play and with family members none the wiser. But when parents talk about staying safe and inappropriate touching beforehand, children are promptly alerted. In this scenario, the child would cease to engage the relative in his/her antics and inform his/her parents why.

Confident parents instinctively know when something is wrong with their child. They pick up on odd or out-of-character behaviour and do not yield until they get to the root of the cause. They are in tune with their child’s emotional well-being and want to assist through rough times as well as smooth. However, some parents do not know what goes on in their child’s life. They ask very little, and the child does not tell them much. The child learns how they react or their lack of reaction when information is shared and believes it is better to keep it to himself/herself. If the child is molested or sexually abused, the parents would be the last to know.

Adults who speak to children and listen to them without judgement stand a better chance of becoming their child’s confidante – he/she will seek out their advice. They, in turn, can assist children through difficulties as they arise. Parents must keep the doors of communication open, especially as children enter adolescence. Adolescence is a profound time of transition when teenagers can feel misunderstood. Some see themselves as misfits as they search and occasionally struggle to find their identity and place in the world. They are vulnerable during this stage and an easy target for ill-minded predators.

One teenager recalls, ‘Our neighbour Mr M. know me and me and me sister since we small. As children, we were steady running in and out of his house, up and down. He was a kind neighbour; everyone liked him. But when I start developing, and he hugged me, his hand touched my breast. The first time it happened, I thought it was a mistake, but it happened again, and apart from keeping out of his way, I didn’t know who to tell. Eventually, I confided in my older sister. ‘He did the same thing to me,’ she said, ‘you don’t see I stop going over there?’ Sexual abuse, regardless of how subtle, is still sexual abuse.

Offenders know what they are doing and their intentions.

Here are some ‘red flags’ that indicate child sexual abuse. 1) The child seems sexualised or forced ripe for her age and makes sexual references. 2) The child is withdrawn and moody or unusually quiet, unhappy and detached. Although some abused children become loud and unruly. 3) The child runs away from home on occasions, and no one knows where he/she stays. 4) The child keeps bathing or regularly goes to the toilet. The child cannot sit down comfortably. 5) The child does not want to be left alone with a particular person and tries to avoid them. 6) The child is restless at night, starts bedwetting or has nightmares. 7) A bright child starts doing poorly at school or regresses to childish behaviour.

Abused children might feel ashamed to tell anyone as if the abuse was their fault. Most children keep the abuse a secret for years. They do not understand the perpetrator is to blame. When the abuser is a family member the child victim is confounded by a divided sense of loyalty.
The trauma associated with child sexual abuse is a life-long unease for many afflicted. Children cannot make sense of it, and when they are grown, the damage lingers on, over-shadowing their lives. The law on child sexual abuse is straightforward; offenders will be charged and imprisoned. Meanwhile, let us do everything in our power to keep our children safe from the scathing harm of sexual abuse.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child, call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com
A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF HUMAN SERVICES AND SOCIAL SECURITY