IF your child is between 9 and16 years of age, it is likely he/she has come across pornography on the internet. Some children are exposed to porn accidentally; they may innocently click on something while browsing and get more than they bargained for, while others, mostly young males, deliberately seek out porn because friends and older peers encouraged them.

It is not surprising that children browse the internet looking for images their peers discuss covertly; their curiosity gets the better of them – children will be children. They want to fit in and be part of the clique. Where parental supervision, guidance and protection on the internet are lacking, children can witness things that some grown-ups cannot begin to imagine. And once they have watched pornography, their minds cannot undo the images; there is no way back.

Parents need to protect children from the damaging effects that pornography can have on their lives. Young minds are fertile and developing. The last thing they need is the bombardment of sexual images, frolicking in a mass of sexual confusion, which has nothing to do with their education, sense of well-being or childhood.

Some adults do not realise that pornography is addictive. Like most addicts, they fervently deny their addiction. But once their mind becomes wired to accept and enjoy the sexual content, it is hard for them to reverse the compulsion. Their brains are negatively affected by what they see, and nothing positive comes out of their past time. However, viewers may experience self-loathing, pangs of guilt, and even regret and shame in the aftermath of their activity.

If the picture is bleak for adults who watch porn, imagine the impact on children and how it affects their emotional, physical and sexual development. Sadly, pornography may be the extent of sex education for some youngsters whose parents fail to teach sexual health. What can children learn from watching porn? It does not prepare adolescents for meaningful relationships. It is well-known that pornography leads to men disrespecting women and vice versa.

The excessive watching of pornography does the opposite by giving youngsters a warped idea about sex and their sexuality. Porn can shape sexual behaviour and preferences leading to unsafe sexual practices (not using condoms) and experimentations (wanting to imitate staged sexual scenes), and sexual and domestic violence (primarily against women). But most damaging of all is the link between watching porn and the significant rise of erectile dysfunction in young men.

Adults must accept that the internet is an essential part of children’s day-to-day lives and future – they need the internet to feel connected. In addition, children are naturally adept in navigating the cyber world with ease – they run rings around the average internet-savvy adult.

Yet they need to be monitored, guided and protected from harmful material, predators and other ills, such as radicalisation and grooming. Adults have many things to consider daily to provide for their families. How will they monitor the content to which their children are exposed?

The way parents view and use the internet will determine whether their children have a healthy online presence or become lost in the limitless extremities of the cyber world. Parents consumed by their phones or laptops spend hours scrolling and browsing as a pastime. Either for entertainment or to look for outrageous and even fictitious stories, subliminally encourage children to follow their negative example. Some people are so obsessed with what the virtual world offers they find it difficult to separate it from reality.

Parents have the authority and responsibility to make sure children use the internet wisely. There needs to be rules and stipulations that govern what they do, what they can watch and for how long. If screen time is limited when children are very young and monitored as they grow, parents will find it easier to supervise content. When children are old enough, around 7 – 8 years old, depending on their intellect, parents need to talk openly (age appropriately) about the ills they can inadvertently come across online and what to do if it happens.

The conversation needs not be dramatic or fill children with dread and fear. But children need to know that If they see, hear or read anything of a sexual nature or something disturbs them online and makes them feel uncomfortable, they must tell an adult. Therefore, adults must be approachable and understanding enough to listen, guide and protect their children’s online environment. A valuable tool for children online is the art to think critically about the content that bombards them. Let them question and reflect on the messages behind porn and other adverse conduct. Some young people are gullible enough to accept everything they see online as ‘normal’ – they lack parental input, care and support.

Adults can talk to children about their online experiences and reinforce safety messages consistently – STAY SAFE ONLINE. Parents should not be afraid to ask their children what they do online or check the history to see if their replies are accurate. It is a parental duty to keep children safe, physically, psychologically, sexually, morally; in other words, parenting is a full-time job with no room for slack. Young people deserve to discover the joys of intimacy naturally, in their own time in their way – pornography robs them of that experience. Parents -play an integral role in your child’s digital life today.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child, call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com
A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF HUMAN SERVICES AND SOCIAL SECURITY