SOME young people get caught up in doomed relationships during adolescence, and, before they realise the problems in their union, a baby is on the way. Not all people are cut out to be parents. Babies are a lot of responsibility – they require genuine care, time, attention and love. When adolescent babies are unplanned, these attributes are usually in short supply. For babies to get the best start in life, they need dedicated parents who understand their roles.
Most babies born into ad hoc circumstances survive by any means possible, as basic parenting skills come naturally – feeding, changing nappies, bathing, soothing baby etc. But the nurturing, comforting and developmental aspects of caring for and raising a child need to be taught to young people by responsible adults who understand the value and advantages of good childcare.
Firstly, young people need to distinguish between having sexual intercourse and becoming a parent – the two are miles apart. Secondly, parents should help them understand that sexual intercourse should not lead to parenthood unless one or both participants are careless. It is totally in the hands of the ‘lovers’ how they proceed at the time. There must be an order to how people do things and bringing children into the world is the last component on the agenda.
Babies don’t ask to be born or brought into families where they are moved from pillar to post or exposed to substandard lifestyles during their formative years. Babies need to be the centre of attention – having their needs anticipated and fulfilled by loving, committed parents. Maybe if young people looked at the negative aspects from the baby’s point of view, they would think twice before getting carried away by passion.
Young people need a sense of direction and ambition long before finding a life partner and thinking about starting a family. They should ask: What do I want to achieve? What would I like for my future? How can I work towards my goal? Whether male or female, rich or poor, it pays to have a skill, trade or career that brings an income. Whether a person chooses to live alone or become part of a union, one’s ability to stand on one’s own two feet will benefit one and others. It will also help persons to discover their sense of purpose.
Sometimes babies are ‘created’ for the wrong reasons. Such as the girl who saw her friend with a baby and thought it novel and cute, so she deliberately set out to do the same. It wasn’t long before her plans were underway, and she walked around with her big belly soon to give birth. When she delivered, surprisingly, she had twins, which meant more mouths to feed, with insufficient or no support, no plan for the future, no skills for work, and children born into an unprepared household. When people make thoughtless decisions, children suffer.
Other wrong reasons include trying to ‘keep’ a man. Some girls think having a baby for a boy/man will keep him by their side; get him to marry her – or make his ex-wife jealous. If the man has a flaw or does not pay enough attention, his girl might think he will change once a baby comes into the picture. Men also try getting girls pregnant for their ulterior motives. Whatever the wrong reason, maybe it is not fair on babies.
Babies eventually feel the brunt of all situations they were ‘created’ to solve. Babies bind people together, but sometimes those people were ‘ships that pass in the night’ and nothing more. They were not meant to raise a family together; however, the binding can cause years of pain, emotional turmoil and confusion. Not just for the adults involved but also for the innocent children.
There is nothing wrong with not having children at all – whether a person is single or in a relationship, they should not have a child to prove (to their friends or parents) that their reproductive system is working fine. Every year we are faced with an onslaught of teenage pregnancies in different regions of Guyana, and yes, the young people get by, and yes, families find ways to cope.
But in reality, adolescents would be better off studying for their future – building character and discovering their personalities, skills and aspirations, instead of changing nappies, feeding babies or scrambling to find money, food and support for their child.
In many areas of Guyana, information is available where there once was a void – take advantage and help young people gain knowledge. Help them find their place in the world and avoid pitfalls – like unwanted pregnancies – prevention is better than cure. Allow young people to have dreams, ambitions, desires and goals. Adults have the opportunity to help adolescents live meaningful or trivial lives.
If you are concerned about the welfare of a child, call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com
A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF HUMAN SERVICES AND SOCIAL SECURITY
