Names have been changed to protect identities

WHEREVER teenagers are in the World, the majority tend to go through the same pattern of development when they hit adolescence (sometimes even earlier). A part of adolescent development is self-image. Teenager care deeply about how others see them, especially their peers. It can become all-consuming, and, for them, seem like the most crucial thing in the World.

Children who grow with little love from parents and family and even less input and guidance, have no structure to form their adolescent years.

Subsequently, they lack self-esteem and often self-worth. Working out who they are, what they need to do and where they are heading in life could take any shape or form. Inevitably, many adolescents end up making major irreversible mistakes. Some experiences mar them for life.

Selina’s story could happen to any child, in any village, in any part of Guyana. We are sharing her story to highlight the immaturity of adolescent choices and the importance of positive parental guidance. Maybe you can prevent the same from happening to your child or someone you know.

A Child Protection Officer shares Selina’s story.

Selina’s mother had no time for motherhood; she left the 6-month-old baby with her biological father and his mother. The two did their best to raise the child in a family setting where brothers, cousins, and other relatives were constantly coming and going. For Selina, there was no one-to-one attention, love, encouragement, nurturing or care. On occasions, Selina grew fond of the families who rented the upper apartment, but they would move on, and once again, Selina felt alone.

When Selina’s mum visited, they never bonded the way mothers and daughters do. The elder did not embrace and cherish her child, and the child had no clue that something was missing from her existence. Like all children, she accepted and strived in her circumstances.

When a distant relative invested in Selina’s private school education, she felt special for a while. At last, someone noticed and wanted to help her. But due to her grandmother’s failing health, Selina dropped out of school to run errands, do chores and care for her grandmother.

It was an uncle who spotted 15-year-old Selina leaving the empty upper apartment with a boy. The family made a big fuss when the uncle revealed his observation. Family members sat Selina down and questioned her. Next, they tried to advise her. ‘If you need condoms, we will give you condoms’, they concluded, in their manly efforts to patronise the girl, who, of course, denied that anything sexual took place. There is no need for condoms or worry, she persuaded them, and everyone forgot the incident in time.

Even Selina didn’t know how she managed to hide her pregnancy for as long as she did -which bears testament to her unmonitored existence. Somewhere in her second trimester, an upstairs tenant brought the same to her father’s attention. He ranted and raved at the girl before calling her mother, who wasn’t the least bit interested. After a while, however, mother and father concocted a plan to purchase ‘something’ to ‘help’ Selina.

A day later, Selina writhed in pain on the kitchen floor, clutching her stomach. The ‘plan’ was working. Twisting this way and that, she tried not to ‘holler’. Her frantic father on the phone asked the mother what to do? What to do? Her reply, ‘wait ’til tomorrow and carry she hospital’. The tenant from upstairs, overhearing the commotion, knocked on the door to advise immediate hospitalisation.

Fifteen-year-old Selina lay on a hospital trolley after experiencing the most significant trauma of her life. She felt dazed, tired and distressed when a nurse entered the spacious delivery room carrying a bundle. It was Selina’s perfectly formed baby girl. She was dead but, did Selina want to see her? Selina took the light bundle from the nurse and opened it. Holding the soft body close to her, she broke down and cried. For the first time, through her confusion and trauma, she realised and felt love. Afterwards Selina said. ‘I cried because she was small and helpless; that is how I’ve felt all my life. She needed someone to care for her and love her. That is what I have needed all my life’.

Selina is now 19 years old with a two-year-old son. She resumed her education and is on a 5-year contraceptive plan. ‘My son wasn’t an accident’, she says, ‘I had to fill the emptiness after my daughter, with love and hope. My son’s name is Alain which means precious because that is what he is to me’.

As adults, we need to understand beyond a doubt that young people need us to be there for them. Even if they don’t seem to be listening to us at the time, we still need to be open to talking and listening to them – while finding different ways to make our point.

One day the penny might/will drop, and the person will think, ‘Oh, so that’s what my Father or Mother was trying to explain to me?’ or, ‘That’s why Granny told me to stay in school and get an education’. The advice and care might be well-timed and work appropriately. But even if it doesn’t, you would have done your best. And the child who becomes an adult will know that someone cared enough to talk to her and listen to her concerns.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child, call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com
A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF HUMAN SERVICES AND SOCIAL SECURITY