THERE is a song called ‘Stay at Home’ that irks me. It is an old reggae song about a little girl born on the ghetto side of town. She knows every trick in the book and certainly gets around. Then the following line says, ‘She’s been with many men since she was only ten’.
Ten-years-old? Wow! What a terrible plight for a young child to endure. I know it is only a song, but I wonder why her guardians failed to protect her? I know I should sing along and enjoy the song too, but I can’t help thinking that someone should be responsible for that ten-year-old child. A little later in the song, the music changes and the lyrics say, ‘your mother is wondering where you are’ etc.

Okay, this line means I can safely assume that the mother is the caregiver. Is she responsible for the young girl’s initiation into this seedy lifestyle? She obviously cares about her daughter if she is wondering where she is. But then, just as I think I’ve worked it all out, the next line says, and this is to the girl ‘stay at home, don’t let our mother down, don’t be a run around’. So now I’m perplexed. The song gives the impression that the child consciously chose to ‘be with many men’ running about the place at a tender age, and her mother, the adult, is waiting for the child to stop her wanton behaviour and come home.
This is a long-winded introduction to a poignant fact. Vulnerable children get blamed and often stigmatised for the unfortunate sexual abuse that befalls them, and it is not their fault. There are laws to protect children from abuse, and it is common knowledge that sexual intercourse with children is AGAINST THE LAW, GLOBALLY. In every case of abuse, the onus rests with adults, not children.

Adults have a duty of care to keep children safe from all types of harm. Ironically it is also adults who end up abusing them and ruining their childhood. No (ten-year-old) child would choose to be sexually active rather than enjoy a happy childhood with loving parents.
The above-mentioned popular song was a hit over 43 years ago and is, no doubt, still played, danced to and enjoyed throughout the Caribbean and elsewhere. Since that time, things have changed. People have learnt much more about child sexual abuse, and the average adult should know the following three things. 1. Child abuse can be prevented. 2. Adults who fail to protect children and those who abuse them must be held accountable. 3. Child abuse happens irrespective of wealth or background; it is not only in the ghetto that child abuse occurs.
As adults, we should aim to uphold and defend children’s rights regardless of their ethnic background, religion, race, culture or social standing. Why? Because they cannot do so for themselves. Children need adults to advocate on their behalf – to encourage them, love them and look out for their best interests. Yet, children are sometimes treated as if their shortcomings are entirely their own doing.

Parents seldom own up to their failures or take a quiet moment to sit down and have a one-to-one reflection on their thoughts and actions. Maybe if they took the time and were honest with themselves, they would see their role in influencing or shaping a child.
When children are wayward, stubborn, or rude, or entirely out of hand, everyone tends to blame them. The next thing you hear is ‘they deserve some good licks’ or how they ‘gan feel’ because they ‘can’t hear’ they are too ‘hard ears’ etc. But how did the child get that way in the first place? What did those children see, hear, learn and experience, during their formative years? And were not those formative years orchestrated by adults?

Parents say, ‘I made my child, but I didn’t make his mind’. They are right, but they made an impact on that mind all the same; in some cases, more than they can imagine. Parents fail children through lack of attention, love and supervision; through lack of foresight, connection and monitoring. Yet, they have the most significant influence on their children’s lives.
The protection of children is not only the responsibility of childcare workers and child protection officers but should be the moral obligation of every adult. They deserve a decent, memorable childhood, with connection, affection and a sense of direction from adults. If we do not nurture our young ones, how else will our nation produce fair-minded, holistic, well-rounded adults for the future?

In 2005 another catchy song was launched, which also had people dancing and singing. The line that stood out for me was ‘she bruk out at the age of seven, she strip dancing, and she just eleven’. Oh Lordie! The child ‘bruk out’ all on her own at age seven? And exactly who was she strip dancing for at the age of eleven? Where are the parents? I know it is just a song, but it proves some adults believe children are responsible for their fate and grown-ups are blameless.
We must work to set children on the right path in life – to give them opportunities to make something of themselves and to build their resilience and integrity.
If you are concerned about the welfare of a child, call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com
A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF HUMAN SERVICES AND SOCIAL SECURITY