SINCE the new year began, most of my clients have said that their most important resolution was to be happier. A noble goal but too broad to be successful. They have also asked me how to be happier. It’s a very difficult question to answer as happiness is relative and individualistic. This means that what makes one person happy is not guaranteed to make another the same. I’ve spoken about this many times before but since I’m still being asked, I think it requires another discussion.

The issue is that people have a belief and an expectation that happiness is a constant state of being. Yes, happiness is a state of contentment or a state of well-being but in no definition are the words “always” or “constant” found. The whole topic is disheartening simply because of how many people want this consistent happiness, how much they expect it and subsequently, how disappointed they are when it isn’t a constant feeling.
My recent enquiries of happiness have encouraged me to share a story; one that I hope will impact you all the way it has me. It is a story that I have dubbed the ‘Spoonful of Happiness Theory.’

About a year ago, I was catching up with an old friend. Thankfully, we bypassed the small talk almost instantly and spoke deeply of hope, love, happiness and dreams. Amid our talk, he told me a story that I still think about every day; one that I am extremely grateful for. I am even more thankful that I have this platform to widely share it with my Guyanese community. He told me a story about a male employee of his – one whom he loves to see and speak to because of this consistent smile and high spirits. My friend has a lot more wealth in comparison, but always admired his employee’s wealth of wisdom.

Every day, when my friend asked how he was doing, the employee always responded with “good boss, I had my spoonful.” He always let that go, thinking he was talking about food or something fully practical.

One day, his unexplained curiosity kicked in. When the employee said he had his spoonful, he asked what he specifically meant by that. This wise worker went on to explain that ‘spoonful’ meant ‘spoonful of happiness.’ He explained that he doesn’t have what it takes to make someone traditionally happy and even more so, no one can feel happy all day, every day but they can find genuine joy in something small and make that feeling last and spread throughout the day. This means that he looks for small things that give him joy and calls it his “spoonful of happiness” so he had something to be thankful and happy for that day.

I was blown away by his insight and believe that he found the true key to happiness. Since then, I have been finding my spoonful every day.
For example, yesterday I received a gift from a client. She saw that I have a (horrible) habit of touching my face often so she gave me a bottle of hand sanitiser. This personalised gesture made me feel appreciated and cared for. A few negative things happened later that day but I thought back of how the gesture made me feel and I was able to mentally go back to that place and appreciate the warmth it brought.

Many of us wish that we can find joy in the simple things — and this is exactly the way to do it. I urge everyone to try this daily as the benefits of practising this will be endless. The best part is that since happiness is relative and is completely open to interpretation, your spoonful can be absolutely anything. There are universal factors that promote happiness which include, but are not limited to kindness, self-esteem and self-confidence, gratitude, forgiveness, humility, strong self-love, as well as a good and healthy support circle. This means you can base your spoonful around any of the above.

Practising spoonful of happiness will decrease stress, anxiety, sadness, anger and therefore the possibility of developing any form of mental illness and suicidal thoughts. It will instead increase kindness, positivity, motivation, self-esteem and self-confidence. This means you will automatically be more likely to sleep and eat well, exercise, decrease substance use and practise healthier socialisation. Most importantly, it means you will wake up realising that you have something good to look forward to every day.

My research shows that genetics do play a part in overall happiness, some studies show as much as 40%. However, I do strongly believe that one can still pursue happiness, no matter this situation. View happiness as a commitment, a new lifestyle; A habit based on relentless pursuit and determination. You want to start small? Find a spoonful every day.

Thank you for reading. Please keep sending any topics you’d like to talk about to caitlinvieira@gmail.com. If you’d like a private counselling session, please contact +592 623 0433
Suicide Prevention Helpline numbers: 223-0001, 223-0009, 623-4444, 600-7896

Say Yes to Life and No to Drugs! Always