SINCE the onslaught of COVID-19 on Guyana and the World, the Childcare and Protection Agency (CPA) has seen an influx of ‘Access’ cases. The word ‘Access’ in childcare is the legal reference for when a child and a separated parent spend time together. A parent with access also has the right to receive information about the child’s health, education and welfare. ‘Access’ is quite different from custody matters. When parents cannot agree upon who has custody, and who has reasonable access to children, after a separation, the decision is decided in a Court of Law.
Whereas many access cases were taking place efficiently before COVID-19, since the introduction of restrictions, parents have become more concerned about who their children are exposed to, when not in their care. This concern has led to a reluctance in the exchange of children as before, and the break-down of many access cases.

A child’s holistic, positive development is centred on a long and lasting bond, enriched and cultivated with both parents. Access is given to parents to keep that bond for the child’s sake, not because one parent is better than the other at parenting, or based upon what material assets a parent can provide. To successfully co-parent, adults need to put aside their differences and consider the psychological, emotional and developmental welfare of the child. The child should feel confident enough to think, ‘Okay, this week I’ll be with mum and I will be doing such and such, then on the 19th Dad will collect me and I have to make sure my clothes and books are ready before he comes’. It should be a natural and workable arrangement, causing the child as little harm or disruption as possible. The smooth flow and acceptance of the arrangement, by all parties, is a normal part of his/her life.

If anything needs discussing, it should be done amicably between the adults, before involving the child or seeking his/her opinion; parents must show a united front. Access should never be about enticing a child to take sides. It is about mutual respect and understanding that the child’s best interest is the primary objective. Parents must love their child more than they dislike each other. Many Access cases involve adults who carry around pain leftover from the break-up of their relationships. The pain caused by rejection, or infidelity, jealousy or incompatibility can shape their decisions and attitudes towards co-parenting. However, while they debate, speculate, hate and complicate matters, children become the weapons used in their warfare; which could lead to child neglect.

The CPA intervenes to protect children while working with parents to sort out their differences. If issues are not resolved agreeably through the Agency, the parents must file the matter in Court. Meanwhile, the child (or children) will need to stay in a neutral environment where the person has no vested interest in the case (e.g. a Godmother, Teacher, or Trusted family friend) rather than go into care. It is unfair to treat children in this way due to adult issues, but the disdain between parents can be so bitter and deep-rooted that neither side can see sense or recognise how they are affecting their children. Children have the right to know both parents, whether the parents live together or not. When one or both parents are separated from a child, the child has a legal right to maintain a personal relationship and direct contact with the other parent, (or both parents) regularly. Children should never be separated from either parent against their will unless a Court of Law says that the separation is necessary in the child’s best interest.

Unfortunately, many mothers’ find it hard to comprehend that fathers have the same rights to children as they do and this right is granted, whether the father has been consistent with financial support or not. When parents separate, mothers usually assume that they will have custody of the child (or children) and the father’s role is to provide financially for his children.
If he fails in this area, a lack of communication usually develops, and the child is prevented from seeing his/her father. Parents do not have to like each other to co-parent successfully. Still, they do need to understand that a child’s stable development is reliant upon their ability to communicate effectively. The separation has already affected the child to some extent, so how adults handle co-parenting can have a further negative (or a healing positive) influence on their child’s development and outcome in life.

There are three types of co-parenting styles; the first is a ‘Co-operative’ style; where exchanges take place smoothly, and parents have a good rapport. They discuss their children frequently and co-ordinate rules for both households. They are supportive of each other’s contact with the children. The second is a ‘Conflicted’ style where arguments happen often. Each parent views the other as undermining his/her relationship with the child. Emotions govern decisions, views and ability to cope amicably. The third style of co-parenting is the ‘Disengaged’, which consists of parallel parenting with very little consistency. There is no contact or feedback between parents. The child bounces between households and is more or less left up to his own devices.

When parents want what is best for children, they put their issues on the back-burner and learn to co-operate. It may not happen overnight, and it might take some fine-tuning, but by taking one small step in the right direction, one day at a time, they will end up eventually where they need to be. If you are concerned about the welfare of a child, call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com
A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF HUMAN SERVICES AND SOCIAL SECURITY