I’M sure many Gen Z folks have heard of the term “pick me” women before. That by itself is a topic for another column piece on another day. Today, I’m here to talk about who “pick me” people are and why they irritate every last nerve of my body. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels that way, at least, I hope I’m not.
While this term is mostly used when we’re talking about the opposite sex and grasping their attention, I’d like to redirect it to people in general and their “pick me” actions in social settings. A “pick me” is essentially someone who begs for attention and they have a strong desire to be accepted. They will do whatever is necessary to enter certain social groups and they will also do what is necessary to remain there.
A “social chameleon” is the best way I can describe someone with this personality trait. They will blend into any crowd, they will tell things you’d like to hear and they wear many masks of deception. The most disgusting act I’ve seen from a “pick me” is when they’d bring others down or betray the ones who cared for them all in the name of “being accepted.”
Of course, a “pick me” will never admit that she/he is one, but I’m sure just by reading these few paragraphs you can already identify persons whom you may know with similar traits. If it’s not the girl in your class who reports you for a simple mistake to the teachers, then it’s probably the friend that is ashamed to hang out with you at certain social gatherings when a certain group of persons are around.
People like this are everywhere. Truth is, we all may have some sort of “pick me” traits to our personalities too whether we’re conscious about it or not. This simply goes back to how society has developed tiers, status and stratification. Some of us were even raised to believe that anything outside of the “ideal categories” equates to failure in life. Hence, some people feel the need to be “picked.” They feel the need to be accepted — at any cost.
There will always be an innate desire to be accepted. Even with years of evolution, we still have tribal instincts and that’s okay, but that’s no excuse. We can become the people we aspire to be and we can break barriers by climbing the social ladder without self-destruction or harm to others. Be genuine to yourself and who you are and in return the people who are right for you will accept you for you.
If a loved one refuses to change their behavioural patterns even if you shed light on their “pick me traits,” they perhaps need more professional help than you can offer. If you encounter these people randomly in classrooms, parties, or any other social setting then try to stay far from them. They will only mentally suffocate you. As an old saying goes, “Be yourself because everyone else is taken.” Keep that in mind the next time you or someone you know showcases this trait.