Last week, I spoke about the Phoenix Recovery Project. An inpatient drug facility in Guyana.
I will continue this discussion by offering advice on how to help those around us who may be suffering from substance abuse.

It is extremely difficult to see someone you love abuse alcohol as well as experience the negative effects that come along with it. I know you feel like doing everything possible.

One thing that will remain constant is that you cannot force anyone to get help. However, once they have made this decision, there are things to do the can help them along.

If you would like to open the conversation and express how you feel, you can stage an intervention. This is a planned and focused meeting where the loved ones of the addict tell him/her their concerns about their excessive drinking. It’s not to bully them but an attempt to open their eyes and allow them to see how their actions have been affecting you, them and everyone else around them.

It can be just you or a team of people who are all close to and genuinely care about the addict. If there are any strangers, it must people professionals appropriate to the situation such as an addiction specialist or a doctor willing to help.

The addict is not typically aware of the intervention before it happens.
The intervention must only happen if the person is sober and therefore has to capacity to understand, process and remember the conversation.
An intervention can understandably bring out a wide range of emotions so experts often advise that each intervention member prepares what they are going to say. This is typically done in a letter format addressed to the addict expressing your genuine concerns about their drinking. You can bring up certain examples of instances that were dangerous to them or those around them.

This should be done in the form of “I” statements rather than “you” ones.
For example, people tend to respond better to “I feel like you are drinking too much” rather than the simple “you are drinking too much” as it’s less accusatory. Do not use negative labels such as “alcoholic” or “drunk”.

It is possible that they still become defensive and may start yelling or even walk out. They may even blame you or other people for their drinking. You must not match their emotions. Their intention is typically to distract you so do not take any of it personally and do your best to stay on track of the plan. Simply say “please let me finish” and move forward.

The most successful interventions come with a list of consequences if the addict decides not to make a change. This mustn’t come off as a threat so the language used is very important. For example, you can say “I’m worried that I am contributing to your drinking so if you continue to in this way, I can no longer financially support you or do this and that.” “I am worried about my safety so if the drinking does not change, I will have to leave the house.”
You should be very careful with the words you use here because this is not supposed to be an empty threat. This is your final straw and an incentive for the addict to get help. Be sure you mean what you say because if you go this route, you have to be absolutely sure you are going to deliver as the hope is that the addict believes that treatment is better than the alternative consequences.

In preparation for a positive response, you must be knowledgeable of all the possible treatment options. The following would not be a successful intervention.
Loved one – okay, I’ll get help. What should I do? Where should I go?
You- don’t know.
You can also outline both short and long term goals for the loved one. This usually provides them with hope that they didn’t even know they had. Decide on a start date which should be the moment after the intervention.

I know this will be a difficult conversation, one that even the thought of it may scare you. However, you are scared anyway, all the time. You may as well tell the truth about how you feel. If the addict is prone to violence, it is better to have more people around.
Everyone in the meeting should display nothing but understanding, empathy and a non-judgemental attitude.  An intervention helps to improve relationships, not end them.

If the alcoholic refuses to get help during the intervention, there are still some things that you can do.
The first and most important is to no longer enable their drinking. You may not even be aware that you are but most people close to an addict do. This is anything that makes drinking easier or have fewer consequences. This includes making excuses for them, cleaning up after them, paying outstanding drinking bills or anything along those lines. Most people do this because they are embarrassed for or by the addict but you are not responsible for their drinking and it reflects on you in no way.

It sounds harsh but an addict won’t even realise he/ she has a problem unless they are made to feel the consequences. They typically have to hit their idea of rock bottom before they decide to make a change and sadly, you need to let them.

To the best of your ability, make your living space an alcohol or drug-free zone. Do not bring any into the house- for you or anyone else.

Do not drink in front of the addict – whether you have a problem with alcohol or not.
Many people want their loved ones to stop drinking but they aren’t willing to stop themselves.

If they do decide on treatment, offer support whenever they need it. It is beneficial for you to accompany them to any form of treatment they are choosing- doctor’s appointments or AA meetings.

I have to remind everyone that people have to slowly wean off of alcohol as it is very dangerous to the body to cut out alcohol if a large quantity is often consumed. Please see your doctor if this is what is decided.

Thanking you for reading. Please keep sending any topics you’d like to talk about to caitlinvieira@gmail.com. Or WhatsApp +592 623 0433 to book private counselling sessions.

Say Yes to Life and No to Drugs! Always!
Suicide Prevention Helpline – 223-0001, 223-0009, 623-4444 or 600-7896
Do not be afraid to reach out!