If I am to be honest, I have and I still am struggling with having a full acceptance and love for my body; most importantly, my weight. I have struggled for most of my teenage years with being overweight and I can tell you that it has been a personal torment, one I wish on no one to ever endure. I have gained weight the second I decided to lose it. Sometimes, it simply does not matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to “look good”. While that has always been a very painful struggle, nothing beats being more painful than receiving insults because of the way you look. It hurts. It really does.

I have been subjected to the way I look for most of my life. I am a tall, browned-skinned girl with a broad nose, curly hair and a “thick-up” body structure. I am not your typical Fashion Nova- Instagram model type of girl. I think it is also important to note that there are a lot of “chunky” men who feel isolated because of how they look as well. The non-stereotypical “fat” women and men alike are ridiculed and shamed for their appearance. They are judged and are given labels of who they are and what traits they hold, before even opening their mouths to speak. “Fat people are lazy and sluggish”, “They eat all day long”, “They are ignorant to a healthy lifestyle”, “They envy thinner people”, “They have poor hygiene” and so much more. Their appearance should not be the centre of how you perceive them.

I have recently made a Facebook post that inspired me to do this piece. The comments and shares gave merit to my perspective on how we can better speak about a healthy lifestyle without the need to degrade and judge others based on their appearance. In my post, I stated: “You are quick to call people ‘fat’ without giving it a second thought. You don’t consider if they have an extreme eating disorder. You don’t consider if their parents overfed and created abnormal eating patterns for them as a child that is difficult to break as an adult. You will never consider the mental rollercoaster they have to endure when their body is exhausted through overeating but their mind and cravings keep saying, ‘Don’t stop’. You don’t consider the disgust they already see every time they look into the mirror, it’s truly an emotional breakdown.”

Just as I stated in my post, I will also say it here: “I’m in no way, shape or form promoting obesity or unhealthy eating patterns and lifestyle behaviours but we ought to be mindful of what we say and how we treat others. None of us truly knows the types of stories and horror that hides behind smiles. Normalise having effective and healthy conversations about weight loss and healthy lifestyles without the need to degrade and belittle.” Yes, calling someone “fat” is an adjective that we all unconsciously use but it’s deeper than that. Let us be mindful of how we approach this topic and always keep in mind that “fat-shaming” all in the name of “tough love” does not always end well.