SOME adults might find it hard to imagine how children think or feel during these exceptional times, and some children would not bother to tell them. The main reason why they wouldn’t tell is due to the reaction or lack of reaction they will receive, so they will prefer to bottle things up.
Feelings of anxiety and depression at times like these are understandable and they are felt as much by children as they are by adults. Children rely on adults to help them cope during adversities or to at least give them good advice. So if you are an adult with children around you, help them to express how they are feeling and what they are thinking. Have conversations with them safely and openly and stick to the facts. Let them talk and listen to what they say before you try to relieve their concerns.
If they ask you questions, answer to the best of your knowledge and don’t feel bad if you have to say, ‘I don’t know’ when you’re unsure of the answer. Despite the frustration that we are all going to feel at some time during this pandemic, adults should try to be patient; to stay calm and to always be approachable. Don’t judge a child for the way they are feeling, but explain to them, ‘it’s okay to feel this way, we are living in unusual times’. If you are spending a lot of time interacting with your child, doing school work and other activities, he/she may prefer to speak to another trusted adult. This should be encouraged; it is a good idea to keep in contact with a sensible circle of friends and family members who are supportive and reassuring.
Children have real fears and anxieties about the things that go on in their lives. They are presently living through a time of profound uncertainty, that is taking place globally. So when possible, parents should filter the amount of news to which their children are exposed. There is so much negative, sensational, or fake news surrounding the pandemic that it can become overwhelming for children. Also, children might not realise just how much they are being affected emotionally and psychologically; which in turn, will add to their insecurities and fears. Adults must explain to them that along with facts there is false and sensationalised information in the mix and some things are uncertain or still unknown.
There is no sign of the pandemic ending soon and children are left to imagine (and become anxious about) so many things, such as a cherished, loved one dying, or whether their family will have enough food. They might even overhear adults speaking about their frustrations at ‘making ends meet’.
Adults must try not to involve children in grown-up problems such as the shortage of money or food and there’s no point in reminding children about how bad things are – on any level. Especially when there is nothing they can do to alleviate the situation; it will only make them feel helpless and guilty.
Up to quite recently, most children would have enjoyed a certain amount of structure and routine to their lives and a huge part of that schedule would have been their attendance at school and mixing with their peers. Not being able to do what comes naturally to a child is difficult to come to terms with. Of course, there is social media where children can see one another and interact, but it’s not the same as real life and the socio-emotional development that is a part of their academic life, for now, has been eliminated.
There is bound to be some impact on children as we continue to live through this pandemic but parents can lessen their load by firstly recognising that children need reassuring, and secondly, by devising ways to support them. Children feel good when they know what will happen, so parents can plan out their day loosely. In the mornings, it could be academics, such as schoolwork and reading, drawing and craftwork and in the afternoon, its playtime and fun
It is difficult for children not to play; children need play in their lives, yet some parents admonish them for playing, branding them as ‘too playful’. It is even more important for them to play now and every day, rather than to sit and brood about the circumstances. Playing is a great distraction and as they cannot play with their friends see if you can find fun ways for them to play with you. (within reason and in a respectful manner)
Screen time should be balanced and monitored. It doesn’t take long for children to become addicted to their IPad or computer after which, it is nearly impossible to tear them away; you can make some days ‘screen-free days’.
Find practical things to do, that will help and encourage your children; things that widen their knowledge and ability. Challenge them so they achieve something new each week. But most of all be a listening ear when they need to speak or off-load their anxieties and concerns.
If you are concerned about the welfare of a child call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com
A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF SOCIAL PROTECTION
