MOST adults aim to do their best for children; they want to see them do well and eventually make a valuable contribution to society. But connecting with children nowadays is different.
With so many distractions around, and adults leading busy lifestyles, it is becoming harder for parents to firstly connect with their children, and, secondly, to make a lasting impression. So how do you shape up when it comes to ‘connecting for correcting’ your child? Try our quiz.
1) You’ve been pre-occupied on your cellphone all night consoling a friend who has recently left her boyfriend. During that time, your 14-year-old son has been using the computer in the front room to research his homework. Do you…

a) Kiss him goodnight and tell him you hope he gets an ‘A’ on his assignment?
b) Check the computer history later to see which sites he visited?
c) Make sarcastic remarks to him about what children should and should not do Online?

2) Your 11-year-old daughter comes home wearing her Best Friend’s expensive trainers, and tells you they swapped shoes for the day. Do you…
a) Tell your daughter to be careful not to scuff or damage the trainers?
b) Explain that swapping anything is unacceptable, and then settle down for the evening?
c) Explain that swapping is unacceptable and take measures to exchange the trainers immediately?

3) Your two-year-old daughter behaves badly, and resists every time you try to brush her teeth. Do you…
a) Continue to struggle with her, hoping she will eventually see reason?
b) Try different strategies to see which one helps her to enjoy brushing her teeth?
c) Give her a hot slap to put her straight, and then brush her teeth while she is crying?

4) Your newborn baby has several gifts, including some infant storybooks and puzzles. Do you…
a) Put the books and puzzles away until he is old enough to appreciate them?
b) Keep the gifts in view, so he can see them as he grows, and eventually use them?
c) Start reading the storybooks to him every day, and introducing him to the puzzles as soon as he can play with them safely?

5) Your child’s whole world revolves around his Ipad; he gets moody and ‘vex’ when you take it away. Do you…
a) Let him have it whenever he wants, to keep the peace?
b) Rethink and adjust his Ipad access, to bring and keep order in your home?
c) Tell him if he gets ‘vex’ when you take it away, you’ll give him a box?

6) Your family is waiting for dinner, and while you are cooking, a friend calls with some scandalous gossip. Do you…
a) Hold the phone to one ear while you continue to cook?
b) Put the phone on loudspeaker (so the family can also hear) and continue cooking?
c) Stop cooking altogether and put your feet up to ‘hear story’?

7) Your 10-year-old comes home and dumps his school bag in a chair. While he is taking a nap, you hear a beeping noise coming from his bag, but he does not have a cell-phone. Do you…
a) Wake him up and ask him to show you what he has in his bag?
b) Go through the bag to find out what he has brought home?
c) Leave the bag, forget about the noise, and also go to take a nap?

ANSWERS:
1: (a & b) Children tend to take advantage while their parents are pre-occupied, and even though we love and trust them, there is no harm in double-checking from time to time: Keeping one step ahead and on the look-out to nip ANY negative behaviour in the bud.
2: (c) Nipping in the bud can only happen if parents stay connected to what is transpiring in their child’s life. Nothing should be overlooked, and disciplining a child must be done ‘as soon as possible’ rather than later.
3: (b) Grown-ups have the ability to reason with children in a number of ways that are pleasant. There’s no need to resort to violence or threats. If you want to connect to children, find some common ground and understanding.
4: (c) Even newborn babies enjoy being read to; they love the tone and sound of their parents’ voice. Reading to babies also helps to develop their brains.
5: (b) Cell-phones and Ipad games are addictive, and can rob families of spending quality time. Parents should balance ‘screen time’, outdoor activity and family time for their child’s health and sense of wellbeing.
6: All of these answers are wrong. Parents should set a good example for their children by focusing on one thing at a time. Children will emulate their parent’s behaviour, so trivialities such as gossip can definitely wait.
7: (b) Parents have the right to go through their child’s school bag and their school books if they so choose. Parents can connect with their child on different levels, not only to show that they care, but to also guide and protect them.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child, call the CPA hotline on 227 0979, or us a line at childcaregy@gmail.com
A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF SOCIAL PROTECTION