AS PER my schedule for my weekly column, I intended on writing about Climate Change and the upcoming ban on single-use plastics based on two recent fora I attended that focused on this. But then, I saw that November 25 was the first day of the annual international campaign, “16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence”, and thought it fit to share an experience I had.

According to the International Women’s Development Agency (IWDA), this specific campaign calls for collective action against one of the world’s most persistent violations of human rights, which is violence against women. On observances like these, the countless and continuous stories of the injustices against women everywhere are made known. For us though, we don’t have to look any further that through the pages of this very same newspaper. Gender-based violence, and specifically, violence against women and young girls is, unfortunately, ubiquitous.

Earlier this year, I was made aware of one such incident. A colleague contacted me and asked if there was any way I could provide any assistance for a family member of his who was in an abusive relationship.

The woman (let’s use Shanti as her pseudonym) had moved out of the home she shared with her husband of several years because she was subjected to constant verbal, emotional and physical abuse. She took some of her belongings and her four-year-old son and began staying by her sister. A mere few days later, her husband, allegedly intoxicated, went to the sister’s home and broke all of the window panes, threatening to do more harm if Shanti did not return home. When I visited that home, two days after the incident had occurred, the broken pieces of glass were still scattered around the yard.

My initial intention was to report on Shanti’s story to get some help, some way, for her because the few police stations she visited weren’t providing her with any redress. She claimed that they were very lethargic in their approach to dealing with her reports of abuse. There were instances where they would not be able to visit her home due to a lack of transportation, or simply because an officer’s shift was coming to an end (opinion: this is highly believable). She also indicated that she did try to reach out with a government ministry, so she felt as though her efforts would be futile, and no longer pursued that avenue.

Listening to all that she had to say, over the phone, I spoke to my editors who did not hesitate to send me to Shanti’s home. Another colleague and I travelled to the place Shanti was staying so we could talk to her, and I listened to her recount the years of abuse she endured at the hands of this man. Realising the gravity of the situation, and how abusive her husband was, my colleague made contact with someone at Help & Shelter, who told Shanti to come into their office the very next day. She was serious about getting help, and the next day, she did go and she called me every step of the way to say “I’m taking a taxi to go”, “I’m here going into the office”, etc. I was relieved that at least she started the process of getting help, but Lo and behold, two days later, a Saturday morning, I got a phone call from Shanti’s sister. The sister, barely able to formulate words in her frantic state, told me that as Shanti went to wash the wares at the pipe stand in the yard, her husband stopped, took her into the vehicle and drove off. I spent the day making calls and checking in with the sister, trying to make sure we could save Shanti. Matters went from bad to worse, in my mind, when I got a call a few hours informing me that Shanti came to her house, took her belongings, and her son, and willingly went back home with her husband. I refused to believe that she just opted to return. I wanted to believe that she was being pressured or forced or something. But it was apparent that Shanti truly believed that her husband was remorseful and that he was going to mend his ways. I was asked to disregard the conversation we had, and our contact soon became non-existent. My colleague and her family member told me that this was her decision and even if I don’t agree with it, I have to respect her wishes

There are a lot of underlying causative factors and ramifications here, all of which I am, in no way, qualified to talk about. If nothing else, however, what I can say is that collective action is required to stamp out this kind of action. Law enforcement, families, not-for-profits, and every stakeholder need to work in tandem to prevent this disgusting scourge of violence from continuing.