Dear Editor,
MANY great cricketers have graced the world stage, providing us expectant fans with many unforgettable innings of mouthwatering masterclass. They presented us with a variety of batting styles; different they may be, but equally gratifying and effective.
Who could forget the ‘Master Blaster’, Sir Vivian Richards, who could hit the ball with such force that if a fielder is to foolishly attempt to intercept it from its predestined boundary, then it is likely that their fingers and the ball would be collected from beyond the ropes by his teammates. Then there was Carl Hooper, probably the best timer of the cricket ball. The Christ Church Secondary alumnus would use both force and timing, but more of the latter, to achieve his goal.

His eye-hand coordination was incomparable. Finally, there was Shivnarine Chanderpaul. Our boy from Unity Village was not blessed with the muscle mass of other cricketers. The absence of muscle meant he had to use that organ between his ears-his brain. Essentially, ‘Shiv’, as he is affectionately known, would just use the force of the ball and deflect it in a position where there was no fielder. Brain over brawn.

Now, Unity Village has produced another great deflector. The Deflector, as he is known in Robb Street, is way past his prime. He had an unflattering, forgettable and controversial time at the political crease, 12 years to be exact. During his time at the crease, the only batting style he knew was excessive force. Guyanese did not just lose their fingers; they lost their lives. Over 400 is a conservative estimate. During The Deflector’s time as Captain, there were serious and eye-watering cases of engagement with corrupt and illegal bookmakers. The evidence is there to be seen, but difficult to prove, like most White Collar crimes. The unexplained mansions, swimming pools and expensive SUVs are all displayed in Guyana’s Hollywood: Pradoville 1 and 2. One of The Deflector’s teammates, Irfaan-19 desperately wants to be captain, but is unlikely to be successful, since there are serious questions of academic fraud and an unheard of 19 criminal charges. A record for anyone aspiring to be captain.

The Deflector thinks that he can handle any ball, since he has been playing with balls for years. He once boast that he has dealt with balls up to his throat. Anyway, despite all his boast, The Deflector has been struggling with two balls: Namely corruption and extra-judicial killings.

After consultation with his batting coach from America, Mercury, he was advised to deflect those two troubling balls. First, The Deflector, with no evidence, announced at one of his oral diarrhoea sessions, that the present APNU-AFC team is much more corrupt than his. For that foolish political shot, he was caught in the slips by TIGI, who confidently stated that Guyana’s corruption index under APNU-AFC, decreased from 136 to 94 in four years. This is an all-time low. With bowed head, The Deflector left the batting crease to massive boos from the Guyanese fans. Next innings, and The Deflector was very nervous. Again, at one of his oral diarrhoea sessions, he said, with absolutely no evidence, that more Guyanese were murdered by APNU-AFC than by his elected dictatorship. That was another silly mistake, which resulted in him being caught on the boundary by the very tall Facts. Quite a few fans, overcome by emotion, cupped hands to their mouths’ and shouted, “I’M ALIVE AND I WILL BE VOTING.”

No one knows if The Deflector would continue this unwise batting technique, but what is certain is that come March 3, 2020, The Deflector would be dropped from the team for very poor performance.

Regards,
Dr. Mark Devonish