WHEN an adult of ill intent sets out to groom a child, the child has no idea that an act of deception is taking place, and they are being preyed upon by a sexual predator. On the contrary, children tend to fall straight into the trap that is being carefully prepared for them because they are innocent; they cannot see the immoral thoughts that linger behind the kind acts and the smiling face of the culprit.

Grooming is when an adult builds an emotional relationship with a child to gain the child’s trust for the purpose of sexual abuse or exploitation. Children can be groomed Online by a stranger, or by someone they see and know very well. They can even be groomed by a family member or friend.

There have been occasions where families have been deceived into believing that a person is upright and trustworthy, only to find that the so-called ‘family friend’, religious person or tutor has been grooming a child in the family, right under their noses. Grooming is a slow, methodical, intentional process.

Outwardly, the perpetrator pretends that he is a special friend to the child, and may offer things like gifts or praise and attention. He works his way into the hearts and minds of vulnerable children, especially teenagers with low self-esteem, and eventually he will have them under his control.

Grooming can take place in any type of establishment where an adult has a trusted position with children and young people: Churches and religious houses are not exempt. A number of stories have emerged over recent years, where famous international athletes, even footballers, have claimed that they were groomed by their coaches and sexually abused while in training to learn the rudiments of their sport.

Children realise they were groomed when they have matured enough to possess the intellect to reflect on past events and put them into context. This is when it becomes apparent just how gullible they were, and how beguiling and convincing their ‘groomer’ had been. It is hurtful to feel that a person would steal a child’s innocence in this way, with the sole purpose being his own gratification. Cases are being brought to trial every day, decades after the incident would have taken place, because the psychological pain caused by the abuse is real and ever-present for the survivor.

The signs that a child is being groomed are not always obvious, especially with teenagers. Some adolescents are normally secretive and moody anyway, so if they were having covert conversations with a perpetrator, it would not necessarily change their behaviour.

However, parents have the right to ask questions, and to delve into every aspect of their child’s life.
They have a right to know who their children’s friends are; where they go, and with whom they are likely to come into contact. Groomers are tactful in their methods of control; they can influence children into lying and behaving out of character; e.g. convincing them to take and send explicit pictures. They usually control their victims by making them believe that they care for them more than anyone else.

By asking questions, parents can garner a fairly good idea of whether there are any red flags that may need investigating. If there are any characters lurking around their child that arouses suspicion, they should not get too alarmed or frighten the child in any way. Parents can intervene discreetly, by advising their child about healthy relationships, and why it is good practice sometimes to avoid certain people, or keep them at arm’s length. Parents should monitor the situation until they feel sure that their child is safe. Even if it means having a diplomatic word with the suspect so he is aware that an adult is safeguarding that child. It pays to be protective; nothing should be taken for granted where child safety is concerned.

Grooming Online is prevalent worldwide as young people meet and talk with their peers from all four corners of the world. In reality, many Online identities are fictitious, and sometimes young people have no idea who they are really talking to, or what the person’s ulterior motive might be.

It is sad to have to think negatively about children’s Online activity, but statistics from the National Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCCC) shows that there have been over 3000 new grooming offences since last year; and that, on average, most groomers target girls between 12 – 15 years old. Although these statistics are not based on Guyanese children, the trend of grooming Online is growing, and therefore is yet another precaution that parents need to consider when they allow their children to spend hours Online. In Guyana, the grooming of a child is illegal, and perpetrators can be charged and imprisoned under the Sexual Offences Act (2010).

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child, call the CPA hotline on 227-0979, or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com
A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY, MINISTRY OF SOCIAL PROTECTION.