PARENTING is perhaps the most important responsibility that can ever be given to man. Though many times its occurrence may not have been planned, or seen to have taken place in the formal ideal setting of a family, it is a given that its possibility may take place at some time.

Whether planned or not, becoming a parent means an event that takes the immediate spotlight away from the parent(s), thus focusing on the child. The parents must now become the focal reason that guides and influences the actions of the child.

This means a new understanding of the individual role, or dual, since parenthood means both a moral and legal responsibility on any of the individual parent, or both as should be the ideal. For the male, the father figure, it is the  significant milestone in his life and should be seen as such, because of the traditional expectation of him being responsible for the welfare of the child, or children that he has  and may subsequently father, whether in  the ideal framework of a family, or not. Even in the latter, he still bears the paternal responsibility, which is both moral and legal.

The story of fathers is well known, for it has been chronicled from time immemorial, more so within modern times, for the dynamics of the challenges that have arisen from this critical social responsibility. Of course, there are good fathers: those whom, through the challenges of family building, have made the great sacrifices that would have in many instances impacted their physical well-being, just to accord the children a comfortable life, such as a home and meals on the table. This extends to the critical aspect of imparting both moral and spiritual guidance and values, inclusive of an education that would give many an offspring, that perfect springboard to become not only worthy citizens and contributors towards society, but also to be good mothers and fathers themselves.

There is no question that fathers do play an important part in their children’s lives: the majority of studies affirm that an involved father can play a crucial role, particularly in the cognitive, behavioural, and general health and well-being areas of a child’s life.
Having a positive male role model helps an adolescent boy develop positive gender-role characteristics; adolescent girls are more likely to form positive opinions of men and are better able to relate to them when parented by an involved father; it is generally accepted, under most circumstances, that a father’s presence and involvement can be as crucial to a child’s healthy development as a mother’s; and experiencing validation of their importance in the general parenting literature has made fathers much more conscious of their value, which, in turn, leads to their greater desire to be involved.

This means that the role of fathers is always a critical essential in the input of the growth and development of their offspring. In fact, many of the latter have been known to be able to fulfil their educational career dreams, because of the absence of this vital support, for one reason or the other. And many also, would have encountered very sad and unfortunate circumstances that have had very eventful consequences in their lives, because of an absent father.

But fathers must also be cognisant of the enduring need, of being present, not just for a period, but for as long as it takes to shepherd their children on to life’s journey.  It means that they are expected to go the extra mile towards the fulfilment of this role of being provider. And in this regard, the choices that they make towards this achievement are both pivotal and decisive in their mission of fatherhood.

There are many instances in which some fathers especially, are engaged in some form of unlawful act; or of varying risks that render them liable to either sudden physical harm, mostly death; or coming into conflict with the law, which will also have serious consequences such as incarceration. Perhaps, well meaning, since in their view it seems to satisfy their requirements of being providers; but it still cannot be, since it is illegal, against the law, and leads a distorted example of what a responsible parent ought to be. Moreover, the reality of that “good provider” is finally exposed when it suddenly comes to an end, which is always predictable.

It is recognised that we live in a world that has not been, and is not fair to many; this is because of the varying circumstances/interventions which might have altered dreams, hopes, wishes and aspirations. This means for many, not being able to be materially comfortable as the more fortunate, because of missed and unavailable opportunities, deprived, to be specific. For this category, life’s expectations have not been for them, as hoped.

However, suffice that it has always been so, and will continue to be, parents, more so fathers, who are engaged in risky forms of “earning/employment,” that is unlawful, must understand what that means for the future prospects of their family, particularly their children. In both the short to long term, fathers must be of the serious realisation that even though there may be psychological pressure and urgency to bring material improvements to the lives of their children, and by extension their families, there are forever risk factors in their unorthodox measures/endeavours. For not only are such untenable, in every way, but it is always their children who suffer from the fallout of any related untoward consequences. No father, who cares for, and loves his family, must consider providing for them through such means.

Thus, it is incumbent upon fathers, those whose daily activities for a dollar fall outside the ambit of the law, to begin to take stock of the risks of their ‘’trade’’ that make dubious their responsibility as fathers, while rendering the risk to longevity of fatherhood to their children. Although it is said that the world owes us a living, it certainly must not mean by illegal means for anyone of the parental duo, particularly fathers; or any other relation. A father cannot be of any use to his children, if he is imprisoned, or dies prematurely.

It is impossible to overestimate the importance of fathers. Studies have shown for example, that girls who have good relationships with their fathers tend to do better in math, and boys who have actively involved fathers tend to have better grades and perform better on achievement tests. And well-bonded boys develop securely with a stable and sustained sense of self. Who we are and who we are to be, we are becoming, and fathers are central to that outcome.