THERE’s an adage that says ‘charity begins at home.’ But parents nowadays need to be cognisant of so many other things that begin at home, such as a child’s outlook to life. If parents expect very little from their children, then that is exactly what they will get.

If they do nothing to lift their children’s self-esteem or encourage their children to have and reach for goals, then the child will have a very narrow outlook on life and may be contented to just loiter around the home and community, without any real sense of direction. All because of a lack of stimulation brought about by a stagnant home environment.

These types of environment tend to exist, especially when parents no longer love or care for one another and each are out ‘doing their own thing.’ Children get lost in the debris of their parents’ broken union and their upbringing and true potential in life, as a result, can become dormant or seriously tainted.

Another thing that begins at home is the protection and management of children. No one is suggesting that parents should be controlling their children, to the extent where children do not think for themselves and feel imprisoned; it remains that there is a great need in this day and age for parents to manage what their children do and to what they are exposed on a daily basis. This is another form of protection

To manage children, parents need to be involved in every aspect of their children’s lives. They should know who their children’s friends are and to whom their children are talking, especially on social media. We are living in an age where children are groomed via the internet; this means that some people befriend young people on line for the sole purpose of controlling and ultimately ‘using’ them. They may promise them all types of things, or even just offer a much-needed friendship. However, because children are naïve, they can be beguiled into meeting strange people or sending risqué pictures of themselves (or their private parts) to predators on line.

All this of course unbeknownst to the parents until, probably by chance, it is brought out into the open (If it is ever brought to light at all) and by then so much damage would have already occurred. Then parents ask themselves, ‘How could this be going on under our very noses and we had no inkling that something was amiss?’ Well, it usually happens because parents are not fully in touch with their children and children are allowed to do things that go unquestioned and unmonitored by parents.

If parents choose to, they can seek technical services which allow them to have ‘control’ over which sites their children can visit. Only age-appropriate sites should be allowed, but how many parents take the time or precaution to make use of these services? Most children have free range over internet use. Whenever they need to, parents should have access to their children’s online activities and their cellular phones. If they cannot get access, then something is wrong and chances are, something inappropriate is taking place.

There was a case some years ago in which a mother on checking the history of activity on her internet, realised that several pornographic sites had been visited; these visits had been going on for months and she was devastated, immediately suspecting her teenage daughter. However, when she confronted her, the daughter was just as perplexed as the mother. Upon further investigation, it was revealed that it was in fact her eight-year-old daughter who had been systematically watching pornography over an extended period of time. This is the type of thing that happens when children are left unsupervised.

Where children go and what they do should be number one on the list of parental concerns and parents should not always take their child’s word as gospel. If you are a parent, you don’t have to be overly suspicious (or wait until you have reason for doubt)before you make a few phone calls, or do a little double-checking on occasions, to ensure that your child is telling the truth. If any discrepancies do exist you can manage them before they get the chance to spiral out of control.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with parents going through their child’s school bag once in a while to ensure that the child is not in possession of anything that belongs to someone else; for example, anything either taken, exchanged or borrowed. Children have a way of hiding their school activities from parents if they know they are doing something wrong, or doing something their parents would not condone.

Parents should be discreet in their approach towards managing their children without appearing overly anxious, annoyed, disappointed or accusatory. It is their duty to be vigilant and pay careful attention to their children’s welfare. In turn, children should be allowed increasing levels of responsibility, while understanding and trust are strengthened between adult and child.
If you are concerned about a child you can ring the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or email
childcaregy@gmail.co
A Message from the Childcare and Protection Agency, Ministry of Social Protection