LAST week’s column piece was written on problems interracial children face and I was so surprised by the amount of good feedback it received, that I decided to write on the reason why we actually have interracial children to begin with; interracial couples. Ah, the clever thing to do right? I’d say it’s more of a necessity. Whether or not these couples are legally married is not the point, it’s the issue of society, how we perceive these relationships as ‘taboo’. Compared to the times of our grandparents, I wouldn’t say we’re better but at least we are more informed and a bit more accepting when it comes to these relationships.

In a way, there are still many persons in Guyana who believe we should marry or date within our cultural groups. Perhaps, it’s to cause less cultural conflicts and to stay within the boundaries of our comfort zones, or it’s the disgusting thought of believing one’s culture/race is superior to others. If you do not think this kind of mentality still exists, then maybe you aren’t as social as you thought you are.

There are many problems interracial couples might face, not only from society but amongst themselves as well. Everyone is different but when it comes to race and culture, it is the baggage of ancestral and ritual practices, thoughts and emotions. It is important for these couples to research and educate themselves on the culture/race of one’s partner. The rejection of racist families and relatives also plays a major conflict- contributing factor in the relationship. The safety of your children also is important, as they might be targets of great oppression themselves. As mentioned last week, the emotional roller coaster ride society forces these children to take, is unacceptable and unjust. Make sure your children are educated and knowledgeable of such information just as you are. Finally, remember that your love alone will not make these problems go away, strong will and communication will.

Romeo Lynch, a fellow student representative at the University of Guyana and entrepreneur would like to share his story of the time when he was rejected with his ex-partner in an interracial relationship:

“Interracial couples are often admired by some while scoffed on by others. These relationships can be amazing. Yes, I’m speaking from experience. I was enjoying an amazing interracial relationship until somebody’s parents disregarded the budding romance and labelled me according to my skin colour. Compounding the situation is waking up the following day and seeing the oh-so-familiar text message: “It’s not you, it’s me. We can no longer be together. I’ll always love and cherish you and oh we can still be friends.”

At first, I used to do deep soul searching and even bend the knees and pray that these things will work out. Being mixed in a country with six ethnic groups should have allowed me the scope to choose freely, however, this has proven to be surprisingly challenging. “What was I doing wrong?” I asked myself. I constantly lied to myself trying to overlook or see past the actual issue. As blatant as sunlight, it was because I was not like them; alien to their ethnicity- an outsider if you may.

Let me tell you about this girl I dated from 2014 to 2016. She was a proud Indo-Guyanese, brilliant, wealthy and an only child to her parents, quite compatible since the same can be said for me. The relationship blossomed and we soon fell in love, desperately trying to

spend every moment with each other. As the relationship progressed I asked questions like “So are there any mixed persons in the family?” And she gave me an answer that rendered me null. The young lady said, “There is a first time for everything and rules were meant to be broken.” In my alone time, I would relive this moment and try to comprehend her

response. The daunting question and I’m pretty sure you are thinking about it too was: what is the rule about dating or having mixed children? All the signs that the relationship would become problematic were there but I chose to ignore them, clinging to the hope that things would be different; that we can effect some change and show individuals of her family and others that interracial relationships are filled with love and excitement as with any other relationship. So I pressed the issue after being together for some time for her to introduce “us” to her family. She unenthusiastically did, but surprisingly only told the family this was her good friend, Romeo. This new found happiness was swiftly superseded by great pain and misery. She had finally broken down and told everyone in her family that “good friend” means “boyfriend”. She explained that she was in love with me and you know all the “lovey-dovey” stuff. Those words fell on deaf ears. The family pressed for her to leave me and finally she did. That response devastated me and to date, I’m still grasping with the realisation that being a mixed individual can be very challenging especially in the expression of romantic interests. “

However, there are two sides to every coin. Interracial relations have resulted in harmonious living in many other instances. There is evidence of love, passion, excitement and adventure radiating from these relationships. Interracial couples produce beautiful girls and handsome boys. Much can be said about these kinds of relationships, it depends on the society and individuals in the relationships.”

For some things, size does matter. In this case, the small minds of a defined racist can never be compared with that of the big hearts of those who accept and respect persons despite what they look like or what their racial identity is. Romeo is one of the countless persons who have stories like these in Guyana. We are a country with a colonial history. All the major races were all oppressed by the Europeans. It’s a shame that we adopted the concept of racism as well. Love has no colour, racism is not born; it is taught. Guyana is a melting pot of cultures. We must realise that strength lies in our differences, not similarities.