IF you are a single parent then you are well aware of the pressure, stress and fatigue that can accompany your everyday life, as you endeavour to do the best for your children. But you are not alone; single-parenting is more common nowadays than you may think. Of course, the majority of single parents worldwide are women and the disparity between children being raised by single mothers to single fathers is so wide, fathers will never catch up.

Single-parenting can vary greatly for different households. For some, there may be extended family members who help out the single parent and can be relied upon for back-up and support; other families may consist of a single parent who has the day- to-day responsibility for the sole care of the child or children. But regardless of the many types of scenarios that exist, an important aspect of single-parenting will always be finding and maintaining ways to be organised.

As a single parent you may be juggling a number of tasks, such as work, childcare, housework and shopping, to name a few: and while it can become hectic and at times seem overwhelming, you must never lose sight of the basic things that your child or children, need to survive. Your children need your love; they need quality time and your attention; they need a set routine (e.g. playtime, homework time, bedtime) and they need your protection.

If you are a single parent who is too tired or distracted to give these things to your child, behavioural problems can arise as the child strives to find the nurturing and attention he or she requires to feel secure, happy and confident. Single parents must stay connected with their children by sitting and talking to them, by involving them in (age-appropriate) decisions that concern them and by sharing fun activities

On the other hand, even when parents are sharing chores with their children, in the yard, or in the kitchen, a conversation could still be struck up, encouraged and maintained. It’s all about constant communication and letting the child know that his/her parent truly cares about every aspect of his/her life.

Single parents should stick to any rules and/or boundaries that they create, not totally without recourse, as boundaries can be adjusted from time to time as the need arises. But parents must be clear about what is and what is not expected from their children and not waver or give special privileges to their children because they are single parents. Some single parents blame themselves and feel guilty for being a single parent and they try to make up for it by giving their children anything they want and spoiling them. This does not help children to grow and develop in a holistic way: it does more harm than good to one-parent families.

As children grow they will need adult role models in their lives; single parents should consider having close friends and/or family members around, who could have a positive influence on their children. Role models should be trustworthy people who are well-known to the parent and not recent acquaintances.

Protect your child; be careful about who you allow in your home. Never ask a new friend or partner to watch your child while you go out or go to work. Most single-parent families survive on low incomes, so it’s important that one- parent families never lose their sense of humour, especially when it comes to meeting challenges.

If you are a single parent, remember to let your child know that the breakdown of the family is not their fault; children sometimes blame themselves for their absent parents. They may also feel unwanted and abandoned. Our final piece of information for single parents is, never speak negatively about the absent parent, especially in front of your child; and try to maintain an amicable relationship with your ex, even if it’s just for the child’s sake.

The aim is to share positive experiences with your child while giving him/her the best upbringing possible. Growing up in a family with two parents does not automatically ensure that children will turn out alright. So be proud single parents and continue to work with your children for their successful future.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child call the Childcare and Protection Agency Hotline on 227 0797 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com
A Message from the Childcare and Protection Agency, Ministry of Social Protection