THE older generation would always ask, ‘why is this generation so bad and lawless?’
My question is, ‘wasn’t it your generation that raised us?’ As a columnist writing on youth-related issues, my mind always ponders future topics to discuss. This week, I have come to realise that you cannot speak or even help young people without getting to their greatest if not most important influencers– their parents. Given last week’s topic on single-parenting, I thought it would be only as effective to continue writing on the effects of parenting and the influence our parents have on us.

I once saw a quote on the walls of a primary school that read: “Children are like wet cement, whatever falls on them makes an impression.” That is certainly the focal point of this discussion.

Poor or bad parenting may fail a child in her/his development. We learn our social skills from our households. Our child-to-parent relationships are our first social relationships. An unborn child even develops a bond with the mother way before birth. If a child by chance develops a negative relationship with a parent(s), that can have an effect on the child and his/her other social relationships, even their overall behaviour in society.

It’s no lie that crime can be an after-effect of poor parenting. It is said that, ‘children live what they learn.’ They are very vulnerable, I have mentioned this one or two times before. As such, it is very easy for them to be involved in crime. Whether if their parents are criminals and/or in jail or even if they are exposed to violent video games/movies, it can easily form an impression on them. Over the years, juvenile crimes have been increasing. In my very own town of Rose Hall, currently, there’s a ‘gold-chain thieving spree.’ Young boys ride on their bicycles and single out their victims, either by being a stranger to the town or soft-spoken.

They ride up closely and snatch the chains from your necks and then hurriedly ride away. Let me make it crystalline and now say: most of their parents are aware of this behaviour! So can a solution to juvenile crimes be more effective parenting? Of course.

In the same way, parents can also fail their children through abuse or failure to report a known case/complaint of abuse of any kind that happened to the child. Did you know that the majority of adults who were abused as children, either turn out to be abusers themselves or they experience domestic abuse as adults?

If a child was never taught abuse of any kind is wrong, (sexual, physical, verbal), then she/he will grow up to believe it’s okay to either abuse or continue to be abused.

Negligence can also be a contributing factor to a child’s behaviour and personality. Also, there is a big disconnect when it comes to communication between child/teen and parent. In the Guyanese context especially, there are certain things that are considered ‘big people talk’ and are perhaps taboo to be talked about: these include sex, courting, drugs and alcohol. For parents reading, I’ll tell you this; if you do not teach your child, someone else will. There are children who are afraid to confront or even confide in their parents. Be approachable, form conversations and guide your children onto a healthy adult life. Sometimes, I feel we go straight from childhood onto teenage-hood then into adulthood with no transitional period, no information or knowledge beforehand.

All in all, I believe as adults, there is an inner child within us that needs attention, care and even the need to be loved. The larger the gap in our child-to-parent relationships, I believe the more attention that inner child demands as an adult. In my defence, children were never asked to be conceived and born; as such, those responsible for the birth of the child should take up their roles or seek help with someone who can (adoption).

If you are under the age of 18, you are considered a child by the law. As such, a parent/guardian is responsible for the emotional, physical, mental and overall well-being as well as, meeting your basic needs (food, clothing, shelter, education, etc). There is no doubt that the morals and beliefs of our parents are passed down to us.

Arguably enough, who our parents are and their style of parenting are often mirrored through our very own personalities and behaviours. In one of my Sociology classes at UG, my lecturer showed us a picture of a child living in Syria. It was graphic enough to leave the entire class puzzled; bombs and shooters, blood and guns, dead people and fires. It is not to be blamed on the parents, but that example was used to display the effects our environment has on children; similarly, parents and their influences. Just as Batman and Wonder-woman, Justin Bieber or Beyoncé, our parents have an influence on us. Good and effective parenting should be a lifestyle to all. Those failed children will ultimately become adults who act out that failure. The Child Protection Agency is always there to help protect the rights of a child. Please contact them on: 592- 227-0979 (hotline) or 227-4420, 225-4082, 225-1117.