– talking survival with a down-on-her-luck teen

RAPED and abused by her uncle and his friends, and infected with the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV), life for 18-year-old Fareeza (not her real name) is only normal because of drugs such as Tenofovir disoproxil, Emtricitabine, Efavirenz and Cimetidine.

In a sit-down with the Guyana Chronicle, Fareeza explained that growing up, she had lived a normal life, as hers was a nuclear family. However, things would take a tragic turn when she was left in the care of an aunt after her parents had to be away, her father for work and her mother on vacation.

Just like her parents, her aunt was well-off, and as such Fareeza adapted well to the environment that she’s familiar with, having visited before.

“It was Wednesday November 15, 2017. My aunt had left the house to attend a function; my uncle was in the living room watching Netflix, and I was in the guest room preparing to take a shower to go to bed because I had school the next day. Then the unexpected occurred,” Fareeza said as she relived the dreadful ordeal.

“It was 09:29hrs. I entered the bath and I began to shower while singing my favourite song. A few minutes later, I heard the bedroom door open. I knew it was my uncle; he was just checking on me like he would normally do. I exited the bath, only to meet my uncle face-to-face! Naked! I was speechless! He grabbed me, threw me on the bed, and began choking me. And he raped me.
“That was the most painful thing I had ever experienced in my lifetime. My skin was wet; I was crying and begging, but he had no mercy on me. I laid on the bed in pain. I was bleeding; my heart was racing.
“I was traumatised, and I couldn’t believe what had just happened,” a distraught Fareeza recounted.

She distinctly recalls her uncle saying after having raped her: “You got what you wanted. Don’t cry; big girls don’t cry; you are [a] big woman now. And if you think you will talk out, you will die.”

From then on, Fareeza explained, it was a constant battle between whether she should tell someone or deal with it alone. In her head, she said, she was screaming for help, but didn’t want people to look at her in disgust.

EASE THE PAIN
She decided the best thing to do was to not take life seriously. That’s how she started to smoke, drink, and even harm herself, thinking that it would help ease the pain.

Or so she thought, as, from time to time, she would be forced to have sex with her uncle; sometimes unprotected, and even during her menstrual cycle.

And just when she thought things could not get any worse, her uncle began to ‘sell’ her to his friends. “I became their slave,” she said. “I was depressed, and attempted suicide multiple times.
“One Friday afternoon he came to pick me up from school and in the car he began touching me. He told me I am beautiful, and all I needed to do was relax. He then he gave me $66,700; he told me to buy whatever I wanted. I collected the money; we went home and we had sex.
“Another time, during the Christmas season, his friend came over and he ask for sex. I ask him, ‘How much are you paying?’ He smiled and handed me $30,000, and I had sex with him. I began seeing myself as a prostitute.”

And that’s exactly what she became, as men would pick her up from school, take her to either a hotel or their home, and have sex with her in exchange for money.

Then, in late January, Fareeza found out she was pregnant, and finally she confided in her best friend, in detail, what led to her pregnancy. She aborted the baby, but would also become intimate with her best friend. “She really felt my pain, and understood what I was going through,” she said.

Four months later when her parents returned, she moved back home. She would then open-up to her mother about what unfolded while she was in the care of her aunt. A report was made to the police and the Childcare and Protection Agency, and her uncle would be later charged and sentenced for rape.

TOOK ILL SUDDENLY
Then in April, she unexplainably became ill. She was vomiting, losing weight rapidly, and had broken out in sores all over her body. With her mother in tow, she went to see the doctor, where, following some checks, she was diagnosed as being HIV-positive.

It was at that point that life as she knew it, would change for Fareeza, especially with having to adjust to the side-effects of the regimen of drugs she had to take.

But by the time she was over that particular hurdle, she was back to her old tricks again. As she readily admitted: “I got in contact with some old male friends twice my age. “We became intimate; I collected money and clothes, but I was sick; physically, mentally, and emotionally. Nothing made me happy; I would have sex for fun, but things went from bad to worse.
“In June, I became pregnant again, and I had this one terminated too, because things kept getting worse.
“I’d lost a lot of weight; my hair began falling out slowly; my face and skin were covered in bumps.
“It was difficult to look in the mirror; I wasn’t the same beautiful, flawless young woman anymore, so I began isolating myself, because when people saw me, they would have a lot to say and ask. So it was better to stay in.”

MORE BAD NEWS
When in August she noticed she’d developed a few bumps on her genitals, she didn’t take it seriously, as she felt it all came with the turf.

“At first I didn’t pay it much attention,” she said. “I thought I got it from the razor, so I switched. When I didn’t see any improvements, I visited the pharmacy and bought a vaginal cream. I applied it, and after one week still no improvements, the bumps grew larger.
“I discussed what was going on with my mother, and she took me to GRPA (Guyana Responsible Parenthood Association). I was examined by the gynaecologist, and, sadly, I was diagnosed with Human Papilloma Virus (HPV).” From then on, Cimetidine would become her best friend.

“These days,” Fareeza said, “I would still think about what happened; I would get nightmares, and sometimes sleepless nights. “I cry to know that I endured a lot of pain within 10 months, but I have a dream. And no matter what happens, I will achieve my goal.
“My dream is to become a social worker. I will be successful; I know I have purpose, and I will succeed at anything I attempt. Success and nothing less!”