WHERE do these little boys come from? The little boys who grow into Men with such shallow egos, that they think it’s okay to beat up on a girl, Woman and/or Mother of their children and ultimately murder her, usually because the victim had a problem with their behaviour. These Men were once children and during their upbringing, apparently they were never exposed to the importance of introspection? Everyone needs to do a little self-examination at some point: to take a quiet moment where they reflect on things they have said and done and put their actions and words into perspective; were they good or bad? Were they fair or unfair? Were they right or wrong? Parents can help children to think about their actions by getting them to explain the decisions they make.

The objective of introspection is to find areas within one’s self where improvements can be made; and in so doing, a person may stumble upon the reasons behind their own negative ‘behaviour.’ If they search deep enough they may even discover why they ‘think’ the way they do. The way people behave and think stems from what they were (or were not) taught as children and the many experiences, good and bad, they encountered (or failed to have) during their developmental years. This is why introspection is so important: it helps a person to self-analyse their words and actions. They can actually ask themselves, ‘Where did that come from?’ and in retrospect, answer the question. They can also learn to control negative behaviour by recognising the absurdity of their actions

How many times have you heard someone say, ‘From I small coming up, is suh I know it.’People say this all the time, meaning that their childhood experiences have created what is acceptable for them and therefore what is their norm. Even people who do not say this verbally, live it, subconsciously, by displaying a set of inherent beliefs and behaviours that are psychologically ingrained and usually suitable for their setting.

But how many more little boys are there, in Guyana right now, who are being exposed to dysfunctional environments where there is little chance of them ever learning a positive trait such as introspection? How many more little boys will grow into Men with warped or shallow egos who believe they can ‘own’ a person to such an extent where they subjugate them using physical violence and ultimately, have the divine right to take their life? Never once possessing a presence of mind to examine their thoughts, their behaviour and mind-set? But instead acting impulsively, from an adversely emotional standpoint, with little regard for the trauma caused to family members or their own children who are also victims, left in the wake of their reckless behaviour.

When children are victims of childhood trauma, it affects their whole outlook on life. Studies show that trauma can even affect their developing brain. As a result, children can suffer from emotional or even psychological problems, which could result in personality disorders such as low-self-esteem or lack of confidence, etc. On-going psycho-social support and/or counselling can help children to cope in these situations.

In order to curb the violence in our society, we must start with our children while they are young. Adults can help them deal with their emotions by explaining that it is okay to ‘feel’ upset, it is okay to ‘feel’ rejected, it is okay to ‘feel’ left out, etc; but it is how one deals with those ‘feelings’ that really matter. By talking things through, adults can help children analyse their actions, thoughts and behaviour and together strategies and coping skills can be worked out to help children manage their ‘feelings.’ This is the first step to them being in control of the way they think and the actions that follow.

On a final note, the social and cultural trends in Guyana need to be seriously reviewed and updated to reflect the knowledge that is now available to Guyanese people. In turn, we citizens need to be pro-active when caring for our women folk in general. We must use initiative, forethought and be shrewd in the decisions we make that could have long-term effects on our children: we must not hesitate to share and pass on information that could save lives and prevent childhood traumas. We must be cautious, attentive and alert in order to endure, be persistent and survive.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child, call the Childcare and Protection Agency’s Hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com