FOR years, I would sit by reading the news about the latest infraction against people. I would ask those closest to me and myself, what was wrong with our country and why we continue to let ourselves be fed ethnic politics that promotes outward hate and discrimination.

After pondering these questions for short periods, I would quickly come to the conclusion that the government and the people were to blame and I had no part whatsoever to play in this. My thoughts never went further than this and my opinions, though strong, were never voiced because I had never seen myself as my brothers or my sisters’ keeper. I saw politics as something alien. Something the foolish meddle in, because to meddle in such a system was asking for trouble. I did not wish to question such a system, being so young, unknown and not anywhere in the world as yet. I did not wish for the trouble that would be brought on me for speaking out on the matters and decisions that hurt us as a people.

I would look at the dissenters, many of whom were close to me and shake my head at their desire to be ‘involved.’ My fears were not founded upon nothing of course, these same dissenters were victimised and had hurdles put in their way that saw their livelihood and very existence being threatened.

It has been a hard tenuous journey, one which is by no means close to being finished, but I’ve learnt that I can no longer dish out the blame on others and keep myself free from tarnishing. I can no longer blame the people, not even the government. I have to blame myself. I have to blame myself for not being my brothers or my sisters’ keeper. I have to blame myself for witnessing injustice and never taking action against the said injustice. I have to blame myself for our failing country and everything that goes with it. I have to blame myself for the rapidly increasing crime rate in our country.

I have to blame myself for even our failing education system, the Marriott fiasco, the BaiShanLin embarrassment and Harmon’s subsequent trip with them. I have to blame myself for the parking meters standing like proud proclaimers of corruption about the city and even the fact that rape victims are in this day and age still being turned away when they go to some police stations. I have to take blame because I’ve read about them, seen the effects of them and in many cases, I have remained silent on them.

By remaining silent, I have unwittingly agreed to support a failing system where foreigners are treated better than one’s own citizens and where our elected officials continue to dance and stomp upon our rights without much dissent. This of course continues to uphold the culture of the powerful doing as they wish because they know they will have very little drawback from the larger electorate.

Thankfully, with the help of friends and people I have met along the way, who showed me both what I could and shouldn’t be, I recognised my ignorance and saw how my continued silence was slowly sinking this already sinking country. I blame myself for being a coward. What do you blame yourselves for?