Hello Everyone,
I hope this week has treated you well. I’ve been seeing a client who claims to have problems with his anger and therefore is seeking help for it. I thought that since anger is a general emotion we cannot escape, many others might be having the same issue. Therefore, today I will talk about anger, what it means and some strategies in anger management therapy.
The truth is, anger is an extremely healthy emotion to have. It allows us to know what we like or don’t as human beings. However, it’s those that don’t healthily express their anger that causes problems within our society. Everyone gets angry but how do we stop ourselves from going overboard and committing crimes of passion- which are very common in Guyana- especially among domestic partners.

So, what is anger?
Anger is a primary, natural emotion experienced by every human being, no matter what age. It has evolved as a survival and protection mechanism from what we consider to be wrong-doings.
Sometimes, however, it is unwanted or irrational and causes individuals to do things they would not normally do.
There are different levels of anger. Mild anger is the stress and irritability usually caused when our basic human needs (food, shelter, sleep, sex etc.) are not met. More intense anger happens when we are reacting to other people’s frustration, criticism or threats. Anger can be expressed verbally and non-verbally. It’s clear that someone is angry from what they say or how they say it.

Anger leads to aggression which leads to aggressive behaviour. What is considered aggressive behaviour?
– Shouting/ cursing
– Verbal threats
– Visible/ threatening gestures
– Insults and name calling
– Unwanted Racial or sexual comments

There is also a long list of factors that can cause anger.

Some common triggers of anger include:
– Rudeness from another person
– Grief/ loss of a friend or family member
– Tiredness and hunger
– Injustice
– Money issues
– Sexual frustration
– Failures or disappointments
– The use of substances such as alcohol, cigarettes and illegal substances

Anger reduces our inhibitions, makes us act inappropriately and say or do things we later regret.
How do you know if you are angry? It may sound like a silly question as we all know that we just become hot-headed, and boom, we are angry! But some people have a hard time figuring out both if and why are they angry.

Here are typical bodily responses that occur when we are angry.
– Shallow breathing or breathlessness
– Increased heart rate/ high blood pressure
– Anxiety and irritation
– Cardiac arrest
– Sweaty palms
– Tightly clasps or clenched fists
– Grinding teeth or clenched jaw
– Trembling or shaking
– Inability to sit still/ pacing/ sleep problems
– You lose your cool and sense of humour and begin to talk louder
– You develop cravings for substances like alcohol, cigarettes, other drugs, food etc.
– Self- injury
– Depression/ suicide

If you recognise these symptoms as they happen to you, you are more able to control them and therefore your anger.
Do you need professional help with anger? Are you unsure? If so, answer the following questions.

1. Are you violent towards your partner, children or other people?
2. Has your behaviour caused any criminal or lawful issues?
3. Do you threaten people often?
4. Do you have violent outbursts which involves destruction of property?
5. Do you have frequent arguments with those close to you?
6. Do you feel angry often?
7. Do you believe you may need help with your anger and emotions?

If you’ve answered yes to more than 2 of these questions, I would advise you seek professional help to manage your anger.

What can help our anger?
There is a breathing technique that is very good for helping with anger.
These help because they reverse the physical symptoms that come with anger such as increase heart rate and blood pressure.
Try the following breathing exercise to help you to relax while angry. Isolate yourself for about 15 minutes.
• Inhale and exhale deeply 3 or 4 times in a row.
• Count slowly to four as you inhale.
• Count slowly to eight as you exhale.
• Focus on feeling the air move in and out of your lungs.
• Concentrate and feel your ribs slowly rise and fall as you repeat the exercise.
Stop and revert to normal breathing if you start to feel dizzy at any time.
Let’s briefly talk about anger management. This can be done one on one, group therapy or even at home! It does not mean internalising or suppressing anger. It means finding a healthy way to express/ communicate it.

Here are some things you can do to control your anger:
1. Identify what made you angry in the first place- your triggers.
2. Get regular exercise and keep fit. We release cortisol and adrenaline when we are upset. When we work out, our body learns to regulate these hormones while producing optimum levels of endorphins which makes us feel good and less likely to be stressed and angry.
3. Plan difficult conversations. If you know you get upset easily and you have to have a hard conversation, plan it before-hand. Make notes on the right things to say. This will make you more in control of the situation. It also makes way for better communication.
4. Try not to hold grudges. We all need to accept that everybody is different and that we cannot control the feelings, beliefs or behaviours of others. I, myself have difficulty with this one. Try to be realistic and accept that people are the way they are, not how we would like them to be. Being resentful or holding a grudge against somebody will increase your anger and make it more difficult to control.
5. Get better sleep. When we sleep, the body and mind rest and rebuild damaged cells. Good quality sleep- which is more than 7 hours a night- will aid in physical, mental and emotional problems, including anger.
6. Ask yourself the following questions. Is this situation as bad as it feels right now? ‘What concrete evidence do I have? Can I refocus my attention on what I like about this situation or individual? Is it possible that I misunderstood or was misunderstood? Am I taking the other person’s situation/ point of view into consideration?’
Overall, anger destroys our peace of mind. It makes our bodies tense and uncomfortable. It’s almost impossible to sleep. It is impossible to enjoy ourselves when we are angry. We don’t like the food we once loved, the people we once loved and no matter how hard we try, it is really difficult to control. With less anger in life, we will be less stressed, more relaxed and of course happier. We humans are lucky enough to be able to choose how to feel sometimes. Always choose happiness!
Thank you for reading. Please continue to write in to caitlinvieira@gmail.com OR come in to see me at Woodlands Hospital. For issues with drug and alcohol – Monday’s at 4:30. For general mental health issues- Wednesday’s at 4:30 in the outpatient department.
Say Yes to Life and No to Drugs! Always!