By Akola Thompson
Link to part one. http://guyanachronicle.com/together-against-the-odds/
WITH Timmintra back in Guyana and Joachim continuing his part-time job at the supermarket located in St. George’s, it seemed as if the young couple had finally given up on each other. Timmintra admitted that she had also held this view for a short time, as she was slowly being convinced that Joachim would forget her and would never leave his home to be with her.

However, on May 18, 2012, two months after Timmintra would have been sent back to Guyana, Joachim, finally saving enough money, left his shores without telling anyone, but a few close friends, to go to an entirely foreign one to be with his partner. Having grown up not knowing his father, Joachim said, being absent from his child’s life was never an option for him, as he knew first-hand how being fatherless felt. The thought of not being there for his child, he said, was not an option, as he had grown up without a father and knew how it feels.

When Joachim arrived, Timmintra said, she was ecstatic, as it was only upon his arrival that she realized, “he really wanted us to stay together.” She added, “He is a good man, and I love him. Although we have bad times, we make it through by praying.”

Soon after Joachim’s arrival, the couple, eager to show that they could stand on their own, moved into an apartment of their own in Charles place, New Amsterdam. It was not much, as the apartment was both unsanitary and unsafe, the boards being rotten and the doors unable to be closed properly; but with limited means, they had no other option.

In a new country, in which it was illegal for him to work, it was a long while before Joachim was able to gain a job to continue supporting his now growing family.
Realising that things were not getting better, the young couple admitted that they thought of having an abortion, as the situation they had found themselves in was becoming increasingly stressful. “We had no money,” said Timmintra, “and Joachim wasn’t getting a job easy. We felt like we could just do it and pretend it never happened, but when we realized I was already 3 months pregnant, we were afraid to take any chances; and that is when Joachim told me God wants it and we will face it.”

Finally, he was able to begin work at a bakery across the street from where they were now living. His work entailed kneading bread, but the money was never enough to cover all their expenses, and they were struggling to survive.

“For days, we would eat white rice and potatoes because we could not afford anything else,” explained Joachim. The only help which came their way was through their landlady, Noreen Ramjas, who would bring them food, give them advice, and help around the house; and from Timmintra’s mother.

With Timmintra three months pregnant at the time, the two decided that they would be better off if they got married and moved back to Grenada. So, in June of 2012, they took their marriage vows before each other in a small church in Berbice, and never regretted their decision, as they knew they wanted to be together for the rest of their lives.

Still strapped for money, however, the couple, just a few weeks later, opted to sell their wedding bands, which were gifted to them by Timmintra’s mother, so as to raise money to fly back to Grenada. They still were not in possession of their marriage certificate, and Timmintra was sent back to Guyana on the next flight out of Grenada.

Back in Grenada, out of a job and still alienated from his family, Joachim officially dropped out of college to get a full-time job to raise money to again return to Guyana. By the time he would have returned, Timmintra would have already gained her Grenadian citizenship, but on the day they were scheduled to leave Guyana, Serena, their now three-year-old daughter, was born.

Not long after, they returned to Grenada with no hassles and began to build their life together. Soon after, they each gained employment to ensure they would have a stable income.

Wishing to complete her CSEC examinations, Timmintra related, she now attends classes and has hopes of writing several subjects this year.

The couple stated that while they still have many challenges, as they are not able to be together a lot due to their different work shifts, school, and having to find somewhere for Serena to stay, they are making it work.

Timmintra stated that while young couples would most likely face many problems in the beginning and throughout their relationships, they should always strive to pray and communicate, whether it is good or bad. She said she still considers herself lucky, as she was never sure whether her husband would stay.

She believes that it is really the person one is which makes the difference in what kind of mother one will be, regardless of age; and she believes that if one truly wants the best for one’s family, one will get it. She opined also that part of the problem comes from young boys who run from their responsibilities, and she said that if young boys would only understand what young girls have to go through and try to help those young girls, then things would not be as bad as they are for young girls.

She hopes that throughout her life her daughter would continue praying, and never be afraid of doing what is necessary to make herself happy; and she hopes that, unlike her, her daughter would be able to better pursue her career.

Recognizing that many young fathers shirk their responsibilities, Joachim has urged young fathers not to be scared of parenthood, as the experience would provide them with wisdom and strength to face the world.

“It will teach you to be a better man, and make your child a happier one,” he said. He added, “Always treat the mother of your child — and your wife — with love, and support her, as she is most likely going through much more than you can imagine.”

Timmintra and Joachim, admitting that their dreams of becoming an accountant and geologist respectively were put on the back burner when they realized they were going to be parents, stated that they would not do anything different if they had a chance to do it all again. The only thing they would wish to change would be the intensity of the trials they had had to go through.