Hello everyone,
I hope you’ve all had an amazing week. Since last week was Valentine’s Day, I thought I would write on love, the importance of it and how it can impact our mental health and general well- being.
Others have given me many mixed views/opinions on Valentine’s Day over the years. Some people love it, some hate it, some think it’s pointless as you should show someone you love them every day and not just special days and others believe we all are suckers of card, chocolate and teddy bear companies.
I, myself, over the years have had each and every one of those opinions for various reasons. This year however, I cherished last Sunday and I let that special person in my life know just how much he means to me and I’m dedicating this one to him. Why? And why should you too? Because I now understand the importance of it and am about to share it with you all.
We Guyanese see so many tragedies every day that we tend to forget that love is the centre of everything and how important it actually is. Love, for self and others, allows us to feel worthy, valuable, appreciated, content and motivated.
Being able to share yourself with someone allows extra laughs, meaning and purpose in our lives. It allows us to get better sleep, have more energy, discover new things and learn about new cultures and different ways of life. Please don’t ever let anyone make you feel that it’s wrong to love a particular person.
It is vital to feel loved and accepted. Unconditional love allows for a validation like none other- an increase in confidence and self-worth. When someone loves you, they tend to point out positive traits that we may not see in ourselves. More often than not, we are our own worst critics.
It is a kind and attentive ear to listen to your problems – big or small. Love helps us cope with many things such as illness and poverty, allows us to be better equipped to deal with daily challenges and stresses and allows us to discuss our innermost thoughts and feelings- and therefore easier to maintain good mental health.
Human beings are social creatures; we are not meant to survive let alone thrive in isolation or without significant relationships. This explains why we try to find love again even after we have been hurt. Simply the idea of new love allows us to be resilient. It gives us the courage to get married, even though we see so many marriages fail. It gives us the courage to have children even though we see every day the bad things that can happen to them.
The word, so small, has so many components for many different types of relationships that help us to overcome many obstacles and hardships. Within love there is respect, trust, safety, kindness, commitment, empathy, patience, happiness, magic and mystery.
On the technical side of things- the hormone that is released when we are around our loved ones- that jittery, butterfly happy feeling – is called oxytocin. It’s known to be called the “cuddle hormone.” Oxytocin not only makes us feel good, it lowers levels of stress hormones in the body, reduces blood pressure, enhances tolerance for pain and improves mood. It’s important to note that oxytocin levels increase when there is physical contact. Therefore, love and closeness lowers stress and chances of depression, anxiety as well as physical illness.
In 2007, a study on marriage was conducted in the United States. It found that being and staying married reduces depression and stress in both men and women. In terms of physical health, other research shows that relational support improve conditions such as cancer and heart attacks, especially since they are accompanied by worry and anxiety. Additionally, an individual who is addicted to any substance is also more likely to become sober and remain abstinent with a loved one by his/her side.
Other studies have also shown that kissing and communicating our positive feelings for others (through words or actions) releases oxytocin, which again can lower cholesterol levels, blood pressure and allow for a generally stronger immune system.
Many of the people who come in to see me come because of a lack of love, isolation or problems within their relationship. Problems with love allow people to fall into a depression, drink more, do more drugs, and neglect themselves and other people, etc. This speaks to the importance of having a healthy, loving relationship- not just a relationship.
Now, there are many ways to celebrate the existence of love. Some express it through song, dance, hugs, kisses, art, poems, letters, phone calls, text messages, Facebook, Instagram etc. It doesn’t really matter how you do it, it’s just important for ourselves and others that we do it in general.

Think about the link between affection and health. I sometimes have bad and stressful days where I feel like everything is going wrong. I know we all do.

In the midst of this, I might see one of the very few people who can change that. They can give me a simple hug and although they can’t change any of what previously happened, they can change everything about the way I feel within that moment.

Why is this important? Because people who are in good and loving relationships are usually emotionally healthy and those who are emotionally healthy are more in control of their emotions and behaviours and are better equipped to help others.
When there is love in a house, it’s a home to come in to. When there is love for your job, it’s a career that you can’t go one day without.
Every one of us deserves to feel loved and tell those around us how much we love them. Yes, this should be done every day.

The right kind of love composes no abuse- it brings its own kind of sanity, it relaxes us, restores us, makes us feel alive and gives us the strength to feel what we must feel.

Until next time readers! Let me know what you want to talk about at caitlinvieira@gmail.com
Say Yes to Life and No to Drugs! Always!