BISHOP Juan Edghill has called on fathers to pay more attention to their sons, to ensure that they are instilled with proper values so that they will respect women and girls, and be gentlemen in society.Speaking at a recent gender-based violence workshop, Edghill, who is Minister within the Ministry of Finance, said the psyche of youth today is reflective in their language, which to a large extent is devoid of elegance.

The culture of language nowadays, Edghill told the gathering of religious leaders, is one primarily centred on violence, with little or no attention to grace and respect.
The elegance of literary genius William Shakespeare and Roman Emperor Julius Caesar, he said has virtually disappeared, and has been replaced by expressions of aggression.
A good example, the Minister said, is if one happens to listen to a conversation among some young boys, sharing their interest in a young lady.
Giving an insight, he said the expression is like “when I brackle her and get through, I will throw her down,” pointing out that parents, and fathers in particular, need to work with their sons to break this morally-depraving culture.
And according to him, the depraved culture is pervasive and contagious, noting that for many, it is their preferred style of expression on social media, especially Facebook, which he said is the medium for this kind of “cesspool”.
On most occasions, he lamented, “Anything that is bad is promoted as good.”
But apart from social media, he also pointed to violent expressions commonly used in the home, which are viewed as normal and acceptable.
Parents, the Minister said, telling their children, “I will kill you if you go to the show” or “I will break your foot if you don’t go to church” not only propagates but institutionalises the culture of violence.
He said parents, notably fathers, as they are usually the guilty one, also need to be mindful of how they speak to their spouses.
Edghill explained that they have to be more mindful, as apparently men are always painted in the negative light, and no one seems to recognise when they do good.
Look at the good side too. “A man taking his daughter to clinic” or “helping her to cross the road” will never make the front pages of the national newspapers, he said, and urged the media to also look at the good side of men.
“It cannot be only when a man beats a woman it becomes big news,” he said.
Too much negativity, he stressed belittles the self-esteem of men, pointing that while the bad acts must be highlighted, it should not be done in a manner to paint men in general as bad.
Edghill said even religious leaders have to be careful of how they convey their messages. He said it would be better if in highlighting a bad action by a man, they focus on solutions and the way forward rather than be condemnatory.

NOT ONLY CONDEMNATION
On this note, the Minister said all out-of-control men must be embraced, not embarrassed, contending that condemnation does little to positively change them.
This, he said, would require the empowerment of women, so that they will see things in a broader light and desist from acting “hysterical” and get “historical” when they do not see things on equal terms.
But he reminded men to be ever mindful of how they speak to their spouses and treat them, least it provokes them to behave hysterically or remind them of bad incidents in the past, causing them to also get historical.

MEEK, NOT WEAK
According to Edghill, a good man is not necessarily a macho man, but a man of understanding who knows that meekness does not mean weakness.
“If the woman hits you, kiss her and end the problem,” he advised, contending that a man does not have to kill a woman who gives him ‘blow’ (infidelity).
He said the matter can be resolved peacefully, positing that there are some men with “big hearts” who forgave their cheating spouses, refusing to allow an ugly incident to push them to do ugly things.
Nevertheless, he said, gender-based violence is an issue which should not be addressed separately, but together, as the matter required mutual understanding for an amicable agreement.