It was a full moon night. Every dark area was under assault shadows came to life shifting and jumping with alacrity. Bats and owls went about their usual business. The side dam was quiet as if waiting to be awakened. It did not have to wait long.Long john was exactly as his name implied and more. He was tall and boney-to-boot. He looked like a matured matchstick man.
Every night he sat at Balram’s rum shop and drank himself silly. Then he would stumble and fall all the way home. John lived alone after the death of his wife four years ago. He had retired so did not have to worry about getting up early for work the following day.
The side dam did not see too many late travellers with the exception of Long John. Tonight was no different. The tall lanky man was making his way along the bushy damn. As he staggered along he hummed a drunken melody.
His path took him one side of the damn then the other in an organised zig-zag pattern. It was as if he had measured the distance for each cross. After he covered over 100 yards = 300 zig-zag yards, he paused to catch his breath and to take a drink. As usual he had a quarter in his pocket for the road. He pushed on.
The side dam was about two miles long and John would cover that distance in about an hour or an hour and a half. An hour if half-drunk and an hour and half if high as a kite. Tonight he was higher than an orbiting satellite.
From one side of the dam to the next, this way and that, bean pole John made his way homewards. He came into contact with trees, bushes, insects and birds. None made any impact on him. If a bird flew out of a clump of bushes he was approaching he would smile and point a wavering unsteady finger at it. If a tree made a swishing noise he would glare at it and with finger on his lip telling the annoying tree to hush.
John stopped for a water break in some bushes at the side of the dam. After relieving himself he lumbered off heading for the opposite side. Growing out of the side of the dam and directly in his path was a large old coffee tree.
This was nothing new to the traveller. He had passed it on many previous occasions and would do so for many more. The moonlight was brilliant so the area under the tree was easier to see. Standing under the tree and smiling at John was a woman. This too was nothing new to him. He had many women smile at him but none on a lonely moonlight night, on a side dam under a coffee tree. This struck him as odd.
He halted and peered at the figure. She was young, beautiful and white. Strange! Turning aside he tried to avoid the tree and continue on his way. As he took his new course away from the tree he was shocked to see the same woman in front of him. His thoughts were confused. How could she be two places at the same time? He almost fell over trying to look back at the coffee tree. There was no one there.
Turning away from the figure in front of him he headed for the next side of the damn when he got there guess who got there first? The white woman! Her long black hair blowing in the wind and gave her a spooky appearance. John was becoming more and more worried.
Even though he was very drunk he knew he was in trouble. This was too weird. He tried this side then that, zig then zag. Each time she was there smiling and blocking his path. In total confusion and mounting fear he turned back and headed in the direction he had come.
His passage back went smoothly for a while until he rounded a corner and saw her there in the middle of the road. John stopped and glared at her. He was becoming angry now. No woman should torment a man this much. She stood feet apart, hands akimbo in the middle of his path with her ready smile and unruly hair.
The moonlight made her white dress glow and her dark hair shimmered in its unrelenting beam. Slowly and steadily the moonlight began to disappear as a large cloud obscured the moon. Slowly and steadily the spectacle in front of him underwent a horrific transformation. The hair changed from black to grey to silver the dress seemed to fade away leaving the most terrifying sight behind. There stood before him a skeleton with red glowing eyes and silver flowing hair.
We all know that very tall people are sometimes awkward. And very tall, very drunk people are even worse off-and all that on a full moon night, on a lonely sideline that spelt big trouble, but not for Long John-not tonight.
When Long John realised the thing in front of him was a spirit, he went into full panic, then survival mode. In panic mode his eyes bulged, his mouth opened wide and a scream that could be heard back at the rum shop exploded from his mouth.
His survival was something special to see. Imagine a sixty-year old retired man, drunker than ten barrels of high wine being able to out jump an olympic high jumper and out sprint Osafo Powell without chemical assistance.
Long John took off. He jumped eight feet straight up and ten feet across clearing the skeleton like LIAT flying over GT. When his feet hit the dam they were already in fifth gear. Zoom!
Each time the spirit appeared in front of him he did the high jump. When he landed he did the 100 metres in record time. John’s speed took him pass Balram and straight into the police station.
This action caused great inconvenience to the cops. When John rushed in screaming incoherent at the top of his voice he woke all the on duty cops. Men dived for cover thinking that the station was under attack. When they realised that it was drunken Long John they cussed him up fo so and locked him up for the night.
The strange thing that they could not understand was John thanking them for locking him up. Just before he fell asleep he heard one of the angry cops saying to his partner who was now going back to sleep.
“Wow! Check that sweet white chick on de road. I gon try a thing.”
With that he headed for the door and Long John shut his sober eyes tight and started to pray.
By Neil Primus