IT is a dilemma we all face at some time or other – when dishes are piled up in the sink, that movie you wanted to see for a long time is showing on television. We look at the movie, but probably don’t enjoy it out of guilt; in the meantime those dishes are still in the sink. We finish the movie but realise with horror that a precious 90 minutes have gone by. The time we now have lost will mean we have to miss gym, cut into your study hours or sleep time – the result is STRESS.

You paid a little more than you should for that perfume, and now, as you unwrap the package, you think about that GPL bill that you haven’t paid. You know what — STRESS.
The Encarta Encyclopedia 2007 defines stress as “An unpleasant state of emotional and physiological arousal that people experience in situations that they perceive as dangerous or threatening to their well-being”. This response includes physiological changes, such as increased heart rate and muscle tension, as well as emotional and behavioural changes.
From personal experience, stress   is counterproductive. It solves nothing; makes you sick; and from personal experience, makes whatever you were stressing about worse. So how do we deal with this condition?
There are two important points to be made. Firstly, stress is unavoidable, as even the most organised person will be faced with stress as one person tries to balance all areas of his or her life. There will be relationship stress as we struggle to manage our relationships with others, whether romantic partner, children, parents and siblings, co-workers and friends. There will be workplace stress, as maybe you have a difficult boss and/or a challenging job. There will be financial stress as you struggle to manage your money, save or make ends meet. There will be stress as you struggle to include a list of activities into only 16 hours (assuming you want to sleep 8) and there will be the inevitable health problems and death of loved ones).  It all sounds hopeless when it’s laid out like that, doesn’t it?
The second point is that stress is more than psychological. If we do not develop practical measures on how we can cope with our personal stress, then we will be facing a long list of physical complaints ranging from mild digestive upsets or headaches to deadly conditions such as heart disease and stroke. Some conditions linked to stress include insomnia, obesity, depression, fatigue, skin diseases, asthma, ulcers and kidney disorders. Stress also has been linked to increased abuse of alcohol, nicotine and other substances.
So though the temptation to get lost in a bottle of our local brown rum is strong and sometimes even temporarily effective when stressed, alcohol as with any other substance is not a feasible solution to stress, and will inevitably worsen the problem as it takes a toll on health, finances, work productivity and relationships with others. When you start experiencing stress, it is better to take a proactive approach by finding relief from everyday tension and fatigue. Make stress management and emotional wellness a priority, and you will gain a greater sense of control and live a happier and healthier life. So let us look at how we can deal with this part of human existence.

Tips for reducing stress
1.    Don’t procrastinate! Put first things first! Procrastination is stressful. Get done today what needs to be done, and don’t wait until the last minute. Figure out what’s most urgent and get this task completed.

2.     Allow yourself time for quiet, privacy, and relaxation. We all need time for introspection and reflection. Make time for yourself away from the stressful events in your life. It can be difficult, but even finding 30 minutes a day to do something you really enjoy can relax you. When you put the children to bed, take the time to read a magazine and enjoy a cup of tea or other beverage you enjoy. Or make bathroom time special by creating a special atmosphere with nice smelling fresheners, scented soaps, soft mats, candles and nice lighting.

3.     Learn to forgive and accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world. There are going to be people and experiences that upset you. The sooner you can accept this, the quicker you can move on and bypass stress.

4.     Do something kind for somebody else. There is always somebody worse off than you, and it has been shown that committing acts of kindness can increase our level of happiness.

5.     Ignore your phone and computer. Take a break from the incessant mental activity of computers and cell phones. Instead, take time to meditate, pray, and unwind from always being on the go.

6.     Spend time with people who are uplifting, encouraging, and positive. People who believe in you and encourage your dreams can help you make it through tough times. If your friends are always discounting your dreams, get new friends.

7.    Learn to say “no”. It can be hard to turn down a new opportunity, but learning to say “no” to extra projects, social engagements, and other activities you don’t have time for makes it possible to live a more balanced life, and really focus on what’s important.

8.     Laugh more often. Laughter is a wonderful natural remedy to deal with stress and tension. Find ways to laugh by watching a funny movie and spending time with good humoured people.

9.    Aromatherapy. The sense of smell bypasses the cognitive brain (the bit that does the worrying). Light some incense, use a scented candle, or just wear your favourite perfume or cologne.

10.     Listen to uplifting and positive music. Listen to music that is soothing and helps to boost your mood. Music changes our physiology, so find music that has a positive impact on you, and dance along for an extra dose of stress reduction.

11.     Keep your health a priority. Get plenty of sleep and begin to exercise when you can. Feeling healthy is a major part of subjective well-being. Try to avoid caffeine and alcohol as well.

12.     Turn “needs” into preferences. Be conscious of your inner dialogue. We often tell ourselves we “need” “should” and “have to” do something. Start thinking of things in terms of “preferences” and “wants” in order to relieve some pressure.

13.     Change your environment. The place and situation you’re in has a big impact on how you feel. If there’s a conversation or interaction that bothers you, get out of the situation. Go get some fresh air or take a walk to collect your thoughts.

14.     Drink chamomile tea. On the top of the list of fluids with a calming effect is chamomile tea. If you really need something to help you relax, this drink can bring on sleepiness, and it has a sedating effect.

15.     Call it a day. Sometimes we might have to let go of everything and just call it a day. Drop what you’re doing and relax. Take a nap or a bath, and let yourself forget about the demands of the day. Try to stay present, and don’t worry about upcoming events.