MY stepson graduated high school last night. He has four sets of grandparents. Both his father’s parents and his mother’s parents are divorced and remarried. All travelled from out-of-state for the event.

His father’s parents get along with one another, and have no problem with his ex-wife or her parents. Her parents, however, made it clear they did not want to share the experience with my husband or his family.
The maternal grandparents requested that my husband not attend the graduation, but if he must come, not to bring his parents or me. We went, but sat well apart from them.
After graduation, while still on the field, my stepson had to go back and forth between two sets of family members. When my husband walked over to their group to make plans to celebrate, his ex-in-laws actually walked away, refusing to talk to him.
The end result? My stepson has two sets of photos from his graduation. Sadly, there was no big family celebration either. We will be facing this at every milestone in the future, including next year, when my other stepson graduates. What can we do?
Tatiana

Tatiana,
The maternal grandparents are free to ask your husband and his family not to attend, just as they are free to ask Bill Gates for a million dollars. But neither you nor Bill Gates need respond to their requests.
These events are for the child. The other side of the family doesn’t get to deprive you of attending, and possibly make the boys think you don’t care.
Make it plain to the other side you are willing to be agreeable, but they will be seeing you at every event, where you will keep your cool and participate fully.
For you and your husband, this will be like developing an immunity or growing a callus. You will get stronger for dealing with them.
Wayne & Tamara