ALL through Guyana, we can meet hundreds of single-parent mothers. Some of them are in this position through natural causes, and some because of the irresponsible and carefree attitude of their ‘children-fathers’, husbands or spouses.

Whatever the reason for their state of being, I am of the opinion that a woman should not be left alone to face the vicissitudes of life while a carefree partner refuses to maintain the children he brought into this world and chose to neglect for his own selfish reasons.
Single-parent mother of five, Simone Hammer, bears the scars of a cruel life after her husband literally dumped her 16 years ago with the intention of marrying his ‘child-mother’, as he chose to put it.
Simone has since been crushed by the whole affair, but she was not prepared for the fact that the man would have also refused to maintain his children. While her husband works in the interior as a pork-knocker, he does not ‘send a dime’ for his children. Simone is desperately hoping for a change in the situation, and has only now decided to summon him for child support, when he arrives from the interior in a month’s time.
To battle ‘the travails of time’, Simone has, for the past sixteen years, been ‘fighting for life’ as a beverage and confectionery vendor at the East Coast Bus Park.

How it all went down…
Sixteen years ago, Simone was enjoying the bliss of marriage and the loving caresses of a caring and attentive husband. The couple has parented three sons: Colin, 20; Jamal, 16; and Ricardo, now 12 years old.
Her husband, she said, was very caring to her two daughters, three- year-old Akeisha, and Kezie, two.
Though he had left the home, Simone still cared for him deeply, and would still allow him to visit, and even allowed him conjugal privileges from time to time. This was a crucial time for this hardworking mother, who resides at Friendship, on the East Coast Demerara.
Her husband never married the other woman as he had indicated, and never divorced Simone as he had threatened to do, but instead began a common-law relationship with an Amerindian woman in the interior.
This still somewhat distraught woman may never know what triggered her husband’s decision to leave the home, since she claims she did everything in her power to make him happy.
“Men are just horrible creatures. Nothing you do seems to satisfy them, and they leave a good family at the slightest distraction. They are just made that way. Imagine, I did everything for my husband: Cooked, washed, kept house, and tried my best to satisfy his almost insatiable sexual appetite. And what did he do in return? Dumped me unceremoniously for another woman, without a thought for the kids he left behind.”
Life became unbearable for Simone when her husband deserted the family, and her struggles to make ends meet on a daily basis began to take a toll on her, physically. Quite soon, she began to look haggard and fatigued, and her husband made things even more unpleasant, since he would hardly give her any cash to support the family when he came from the interior.
Her eldest son is now gainfully employed, and tries his best to “pitch in his lot at month-end.” She does not “really pressure him for anything much,” Simone says, since he is a young man and loves to be in the “fashion limelight.”

Desperate for survival
Afraid that her younger children would have had to endure starvation, Simone took to the streets in the broiling sun to seek employment. A woman who was doing the very job Simone is engaged in now felt sorry for her on hearing her story, and offered her work at her beverage and confectionery stall in the city.
It was a very difficult job, and not being accustomed to such hard work, the still tormented mother of five would weep silently many days as she braved sun and rain in order to make a living.
The small income she received was used to pay her fare to and from Buxton, and to buy food for the family. School clothing expenses were entirely hers, and since her eldest son was not yet employed, the situation almost drove her mad.
“I had to find everything in the home, while my husband was somewhere out there spreading joy with his mistress,” Simone said. “Colin was not working as yet, and when the time came to send the four younger ones to school, I almost went mad. There was really no one to provide for me, and I really had to struggle to ensure they received an education.”

This very hard working woman could not take the pressures of having to work so hard for so little, and secretly began to ‘pinch out a small piece’ from her already small wages to put aside. She was planning to have her own stall in the beverage and confectionery business in the near future.

In 1991, she surprised her employer when she ‘chucked in the job’ and started on her own with just one small cooler, selling at least four different beverages. The competition was intense, and the other ladies plying the same trade were not just going to ‘move over’ and ‘bow out’ for another contender.
As such, her arrival on the scene was met with severe taunting and snide remarks. She recalled the days when the other vendors laughed at her small cooler and scoffed, “But ah who she? Is whea she come from?” What her competition did not bargain for was the sauciness and ‘downright ghetto demeanour’ of this buxom Buxton gal.
“When I started, the other girls were just malicious, and would torment me and throw hints every day. I took it for the first week, and then I unleashed my ‘Buxton fire’ on them. As soon as they began murmuring, I was up in their faces; and in no time, they got the message and backed off. Now we are all very good friends on the bus park.”
Today, Simone has extended her business, and now operates with two large coolers plus a large fridge in which she keeps a wide variety of beverages chilled and ready for her many customers. She also has two extra chairs in which they can sit and enjoy their drinks in comfort. Added to that, she also operates a confectionery stall and sells cigarettes as well.

Struggle

It is quite a feat to be doing this job on a daily basis, but since her family could not afford ‘higher education’, Simone never had the opportunity of obtaining academic qualifications that would give her a more sophisticated profession.

She is forced to rise from her bed at 4:00 hrs in the morning to prepare snacks for her three younger children who are still at school. While Ricardo is enlisted at a secondary school, the very young Akeisha and Kezie are at a play school in a nearby village. She makes ready their snacks, cooks lunch, irons their uniforms and everything before leaving the home for the city at 8:00 hrs.
It is of vital importance that she arrives at the bus park around that time, or she can very well lose major morning sales.
Her eldest son would normally take the two younger girls to playschool before he leaves for his job, and the younger brother, Ricardo, would collect them in the afternoons and look over them until his older brother comes home, some time after 17:00 hrs.

Simone sometimes does not return to her home until after 21:00 hrs in the night.

The competition is indeed intense at the bus park, but Simone possesses the  gift of connecting to, and impressing people, so she has rapidly made new friends and has increased her ‘customer base’.

Coming from a home where her mother instilled discipline, she knows it’s very important to be polite and smile charmingly with her customers.

Of course, it is expected that sales from such a profession would naturally fluctuate according to how people travel in and out of the city. Actually, most of her sales come from persons boarding the cars and mini-buses to and from the city.

Inclement weather can also hamper sales, since the trend is that people hardly peruse the area when there is heavy rainfall.

“Everyday is not Christmas,” Simone noted smilingly. “Sometimes I can earn up to $15,000 per day, when sales are good. On the other hand, I may not even make $3000 when things are bad on the bus park.” When this happens, Simone has to go into the small savings she puts up every week to ensure they get by in the home.

With her family’s interest at heart, Simone is involved in a ‘box hand arrangement’ for which she is required to come up with $4000 per day at all costs. This vendor operates her stall outside of the Abdool Building, and uses a large umbrella to protect herself from the sun’s ultraviolet rays.

Simone’s wounds may have healed over time, and she does not sit around and hope for a miracle. With the experience she received at the hands of her husband, she gradually became ‘a rock hard, steely woman’. She now has a negative notion about the masculine gender, and really does not care for their advances. She feels that men are just after sexual gratification when they pursue women, and move on to the next conquest the moment they appease their desires.