I sat down with his parents only once, during which time they told me they do not have a problem with the fact that I am black. But behind my back, they say the exact opposite. However, his brother, cousins and friends’ parents think we are good together, and don’t understand why they reject me.
My boyfriend is afraid to go against his parents, yet he does not want to lose me and our relationship. Though he is slowly taking charge of his finances, he still depends on his parents financially, and I think that is why he is so afraid to go against them.
I have never said a negative thing about his parents, and would love to show them I am a good person. I am so lost. We want to be together, but his parents are holding him and us back.
Deondra,
You ask, “What can I do to show them I’m a good person?” That’s not their question. Their question is, “Why is she right for our son?”
What you are trying to do is coax them into changing what they have imagined happening for their son since he was an infant; it’s like trying to coax them into changing their religion.
It’s as if your boyfriend has one foot in each of two political parties: He goes to meetings for both, and thinks he supports both. But today is Election Day: He can’t vote for both; he has to decide.
You could give him an ultimatum, but, typically, ultimatums don’t work. Once a woman gives a man an ultimatum, she knows in her heart that love is lost.
But there is one reason to give him that ultimatum: It may be the only thing you can do in order to get loose of this relationship. Many a woman has lost her future, waiting for something that never happens.
There is a rhythm to love; a pattern. Relationships don’t go on and on, stuck in one spot. Love conquers that. A man who loves a woman would not risk her needing to threaten him. A man who truly loved you would not put you in that position.
What is an ultimatum anyway? A woman begging a man to make her a wife?
Room mates
MY current roommate, a co-worker, is moving out and leaving our company. I don’t earn enough to pay the rent, so I decided to find a new place. While looking, I made a comment at work that I wish I had another roommate to save money.
A female co-worker I’m attracted to, and have a friendly, professional relationship with, offered to move in with me. I accepted.
I would like to make it more than just friends, but at the same time, I don’t want to ruin our good standing with one another. Any ideas?
Kyle,
Don’t play life too close to the vest; don’t over-think things. Relax. For now, all you are doing is solving the roommate problem. Consider it solved. Since she volunteered, you know she has no negative feelings about you.
Perhaps something will develop; perhaps not. A song from the musical, ‘Annie Get Your Gun’, is called ‘Doin’ What Comes Naturally’. After she moves in, that is all you need to do: What comes naturally.
