OF LATE, every time my friends/family members feel happy or angry, the first people to find out are their BBM (BlackBerry Messenger) friends. “I feel a constant need to update my status,” they say. No too long ago, I attended a Jandhi (Hindu religious ceremony) where the people who were closely involved in assisting with the preparation continuously took “time off” to check their BBM. Surprisingly, most of them are relatively young people, who should be focusing on their studies/career. I don’t know of any school in Guyana which uses the BBM system to teach. Do you? You visit your family, only to find you’re sitting there almost all by yourself because they are busy with the “ping-ping”. Yes! The BBM! As one psychologist has observed, “The number of people suffering from this unhealthy addiction to the BB has increased drastically, even resulting in breakdown of real relationships. Spouses feel jealous because many users spend more time on the phone. It could be the new cause for divorces. BBM forces the brain to switch on and off constantly. It drains you mentally, and results in reduced attention span and hyperactivity.” Thank God! I don’t have one! No offence, guys.

You see, my friends, people experience restlessness if they don’t receive messages, and panic if they’ve left their phones behind. There’s also the need to constantly check it. They tend to miss events happening around them, and there is a drop in their performance at work or school, too.

The entire story revolves around a fear of being alone; the constant need to update status location updates, etc. are just to urge someone to comment and start a conversation. Same was the case with Facebook. This will not happen if people start socializing at hangouts, and give themselves a break from their busy schedules. But hey! Don’t get me wrong! BBM is very good if you don’t abuse it. So let’s get to know it a little.
BlackBerry Messenger is an instant messaging ‘app’ just for BlackBerry Smartphone owners. BBM lets you communicate in real-time with the people who matter most, with features like confirmation when a message has been delivered and read, and the ability to send pictures, videos, voice notes and more.
With BBM features built right into many of your favourite ‘apps’, you can chat with BBM friends inside BBM-connected ‘apps’, and invite BBM friends to experience your favourite ‘apps’. You can also display your latest BBM-connected ‘app’ game scores, location, links and more in your BBM profile feed.
BlackBerry Messenger can be a definite asset if you want to exchange messages with other Blackberry users. With it, you can:
•    Carry on a real-time conversation with friends and colleagues in several different locations;- or carry on several conversations simultaneously.
•    Chat with a group.
•    Send and receive an unlimited number of messages worldwide for free with no per-message charge.
•    Get messages without filling up your inbox.
•    Know whether a buddy is online, available or busy.
•    Let your contacts know your own availability for instant messaging.
•    Manage log-in and contacts as you would if you were using an IM program from your PC.
•    Continue using other programs and send and receive e-mails while BlackBerry Messenger is running.
•    Invite someone to join your buddy list, and start communicating without setting up a separate IM account.
•    Be notified by a specific ringtone or vibration setting each time a message arrives from a particular person.
One disadvantage of BlackBerry Messenger is that you can’t send an instant message to someone unless you know his or her PIN code, the eight-digit letter-and-number code assigned to that particular Blackberry device.
However, the biggest disadvantage of BlackBerry Messenger may be that it allows you only to exchange instant messages with other BlackBerry users. Introduced in early 2006 as a feature of BlackBerry Enterprise Server 4.1, BlackBerry Messenger isn’t compatible with popular Instant Messaging (IM) programs. That’s because it works differently.
With most instant messaging services, you download software that becomes the client on your computer or smartphone. That client connects to the provider’s server, using a proprietary protocol for communication. Once you’ve logged on, the client sends the server your connection information (IP address), your computer port number and the names of everyone on your contact list.
The server creates a temporary file with connection information for you and your contacts. Then the server determines which contacts are logged on, and sends that information to your client, as well as letting the contacts know you’re available. After that, the server is no longer involved, and all communication is between your client and that of your message recipient.
With BlackBerry Messenger, however, the server stays involved as it would if you were sending e-mails. All communications go through parent-company Research in Motion’s servers as you continue to exchange messages. That also means you can’t use BlackBerry Messenger unless you have a BlackBerry Internet plan, or data plan…Money talk, you pay, you get!

My advice is to give yourself a specific time to check messages, don’t take it to the mandir, mosque, church and lunch room. Try and switch the phone off after hours. Avoid keeping it under your pillow at night, and definitely don’t take it into the washroom. Give yourself a chance to be alone!