CURRENTLY in Guyana as part of a mission to promote this country’s tourism on the World Wide Web, Miss Canada 2012, Jaclyn Miles, is not your typical beauty ambassador. Looking at the confident, laid-back 24-year-old, it is hard to believe that Miles is a survivor of multiple forms of abuse. Her experiences are of the sort that most young women would be unable to share publicly, yet she courageously shares them to help others escape abusive relationships.

Already venturing to help others, she decided to open up about her past at the Miss Canada pageant in January, and has not turned back since.

Immediately after being crowned Miss Canada 2012, she founded the “Break the Silence” campaign, which aims at preventing abuse through education and support for the victims.

In a chat with the Guyana Chronicle, Miles says that the campaign she founded focuses on all forms of violence: “I actually focus on all of it (violence). What I do in my campaign is focus on not just domestic violence, but abuse in general. So what I do, we provide [Break the Silence] educational programmes for kids in grade schools and high schools; we talk about the different forms of abuse. In elementary, I’ll talk about bullying; then in high school I talk about bullying, dating violence and sexual assault, because I think the issue of domestic violence is a whole issue. It starts when someone usually has low self-esteem, they’ve been bullied really badly, their self-esteem is low, and they are more susceptible to becoming a victim of domestic violence. So I want to stop it at the beginning.”

Since her reign began, she has been making efforts to extend the campaign across Canada, despite limitations (she does not get paid as Miss Canada). To raise funds, Miles does other jobs, like her gig in Guyana, so she can travel around and talk to children about these issues.

Asked about the seeming upsurge of violence on children, for example, the sad case of a worker from a prestigious local private hospital who, only days ago, battered his daughter in the face with a piece of wood, Miles said the issues are always there, it’s just a matter of  whether we are talking about it. She also believes that in many of these cases, children are scared to talk about domestic violence, so the problem often goes underreported.

“When people come out and say, ‘I’ve been abused,’ they make it easier for others to come out.”

Another interesting aspect of this case, which by the way was posted by another member of the media fraternity on his Facebook page, is that some of the commenter’s seemed to justify the act by saying that the father must have acted the way he did because of something the child had done.

Asked whether Canadians make excuses for abusers, Miles says those attitudes are everywhere. She explained: “We want to believe the best of people, so we always make excuses. Even in the court system, we have the lawyers saying this person is not like this, you had to have done something to make him want to do this.

“It doesn’t matter, because no one has the right to touch you in a way that you don’t want. Whether it is sexual, or like a punch or slap, it doesn’t matter if I said something rude or did something to upset you, because there is no reason why someone should be hitting you.

“That’s the most important thing I try to tell people, it doesn’t matter what justification, the point is it’s wrong, and they don’t have the right to do it.”

The comparative attitude of law enforcement officers to domestic violence cases came next under review. Miles said she had heard a lot of stories from women who said they had gone to the police only to hear them say that they couldn’t really do anything about the abuse. She noted that the police reaction that obtains in Guyana does not happen to the same extent in Canada, as there are many more laws that force the police to get involved.

She yet pointed out that the issue itself doesn’t always get solved, so a person might make a report and the police come and get involved, but the accused person may not get convicted. “The step that we need to make in Canada is that these people get convicted, not just charged and let go. Our conviction rates are similar to (what you have) down here. Some areas of Canada have extremely low rates of conviction.

Talking about slap-on-the-wrist sentences, that is also a danger, because what message does that send to people who are being abused?”

It took Jaclyn almost a year to come out of her relationship because of that same fear. She said she told herself, “He’s just gonna come back at me worse if I say anything to anyone.”

Miles said she’s met people of different backgrounds who wouldn’t allow their wives to work or to leave the house unless they leave with them, or some trusted relative. They’ll beat the wife, too, if she disobeys them.

Miss Canada, who has East Indian roots from her grandfather, noted that among Indo-Guyanese, there is still a culture of ‘the man being in charge’.

However, in Canada, there is zero tolerance policy to abuse of any kind. “So, wherever you come from, we don’t tolerate it.”
Judging is another issue, and Miles noted that persons judge the abused person a lot of times. “They say that person’s stupid to get involved with a person like that, they could have left earlier, they are just weak. But, ultimately, you have to take that step and also say it’s wrong of you to be judging me, because it takes a lot of strength and courage to get out of that.”

Given our own country’s challenges with the problem of domestic violence, Miles advises that the best thing we can do is start talking about domestic violence. “The best thing that you can do is start talking about it, like what we’re doing now. We’re sending a message that it’s not ok.  The more people that hear the message, the stronger it is. When the people have a concern, when the people start raising awareness, that’s when the government starts listening, and there will be financial investment in these programmes.”

She noted that change can start with one person, as in herself. “Look at me! I’m one person, one person that’s decided to come out and talk about it, and now I’m speaking to all Guyana! Imagine if everyone took the same initiative and stood up for something that is right. I am just a normal person, but I got in this position, and am an ambassador.
“We have doctors who see these things in hospitals and can talk to other doctors. We can stand up for our neighbours and start developing change.”

Miles says that targeting youths is particularly important, as grownups already have set views, which they are very reluctant to change. But youths are learning; they are absorbing, they are still moulding their thoughts and beliefs.

“They’re developing their values, and that’s when we can make an impact in showing them how not to be an abuser, and how to get out of it if you’re being abused.”

In her campaign, Miles tells victims not to accept abuse. “Stand up for yourself! Don’t let that person have that power!”

Without realising it, women are part of the problem, and she says that it’s hard to have self-esteem these days, as we run around calling other women names like sluts and so on. “We don’t even know them and we say things like that.”
Miles also notes that women are constantly judging each other based on how they look. “I’m like why are we doing that? We’re women, why aren’t we joining together and being sisters here? It doesn’t matter if we’re black or white, or (of) this culture (or) that culture, we all face the same issues. We’re all women, we’re all people. The more we talk badly about each other, the worse it’s gonna be for everyone.”

She notes that although she is working for TAGG TV, what she focuses on at home is Domestic Violence, which is a separate and is not a money-making venture.

Personal life
Calling Amherstburg home, a place in Ontario that not even many Canadians have heard of, Miles has a younger brother and sister, and wonderful, loving parents. Her mom is a tax auditor and her father a herbalist. She  has two Degrees – Double Honours in French and Family Studies, and a Bachelor’s in Education. She wanted to be a teacher initially, as her motivation was to help kids going through bad things. She is not sure at the moment, though she might even go into politics. She has job hunting to do when her reign is over in January.

The question foremost on my mind is how Miles, who had up to the time led an unglamorous life, ended up as Miss Canada. According to Miles, the Miss Canada pageant wasn’t something she actively pursued. She admits that it was the pageant’s director who encouraged her to enter the contest after finding her on Facebook, and she didn’t decide to go to Montreal until three days before the pageant.

She was at first reluctant to go, but with her ticket paid for by a friend and a suitcase full of borrowed clothing, she made her way to Montreal. There she met 20 other Miss Canada hopefuls. Miles said Miss Canada is about more than just beauty, the organization evaluates such aspects as education, intelligence and community service work. She stressed that the contest is a personality-based contest, and the girls are judged on character, the way they present themselves, their intelligence, and their platform. There is no swimsuit or talent segment.

For her entire reign, Miles will speak out against all forms of abuse. She believes most people in the world have been impacted by abuse in one form or another.