WHEN a child is born, so are grandmothers. You do not really have a choice; but if becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straightaway to become one. There is no fun for old people; and ‘young people’ like it! Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. Thoughts like these are very encouraging, and they remind me of my own grandmother! But have you noticed how young grandmothers are now-a-days? People are becoming grandmothers in their thirties, forties and fifties. Yes! Twelve-year-olds are giving birth.  In times past, you could have easily identified a grandmother. At age six, mine was fully grey and had been walking with a stick. Some were bent and crippled by arthritis, or were bed-ridden. There were those who wore long dresses.  They did not put hair straighteners or hot combs in their hair; they wore plaits; head kerchiefs or hats; and their nails were not false, long, painted, decorated; nor did they use acrylic resin on them.
You could not even think of inviting them to a public dance; and when there was a wedding, reunion, or other social or family gathering, they  were either busy in the kitchen or were sitting in the family room looking on and giving advice where necessary.
It might have been difficult for them to play games with their grandchildren, but then again, the ‘proof of the pudding could only have been in the eating’.

Speaking with my school friend, Fridel, the other day, she shared with me how she and her grandmother had been invited to a function one Sunday afternoon, and when she attempted to lift a bottle of soda to her head,  her grandmother saw her, and she ‘hit the roof’.  She was so embarrassed, that all thoughts of having a soda vanished.  She declared:  “I will never forget that. I have passed it on to my own granddaughter.” And speaking about ‘putting things to right’, if she were alive today, she would have been a sure advocate against littering.
I, too, can empathise with Fridel when I recall some fond memories of my grandmother.  She has chided me over and over again, and I would become displeased; but I could not let her pick up on my body language, I guess she felt that she always had one over me.  Today, I am thankful that she was around to ‘chart my course’.  I remember the days when I was cautioned to be seen and not heard, not speak at the dining table, to speak quietly.  She would often say, “Quiet speech is a sign of refinement”. I could not join in adult conversation, and, of course, I dared not answer her back or pout my mouth.  However, there were lighter moments when I got to tell her off in my own guarded manner, and to smile beneath my breath when she was not looking. I will always cherish those memories.
I have heard it said that a mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do, because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren are doing. My grandmother, though strict, had a good sense of humour, and although she did not use the rod, just one look did it.
She was a woman of prayer.  And, like Lois, the grandmother of Timothy in Second Timothy 1:5, she was a woman of genuine faith, whose legacy has been passed down throughout generations. She was a woman who did not hide her light at home, but was a fertile field for planting gospel seeds. She never forsook assembling herself with the church. I always had to go with her.
There are some well-known adages of  persons who have fallen ‘off the wall’, or who have testified that they were ‘saved’ or ‘born again’ or  changed their lifestyles because, as the sayings go, ‘somebody was praying for me’, ‘If it had not been for my grandmother’; and so on.  My grandmother always asked me to tell her the truth, regardless of what I had done wrong; and she would ‘stand in the gap’ for me. But, of course, you know that to tell grandma the truth about some things was really hard to do.
I still remember her as a very loving soul, who made some of the yummiest cow-heel soup on Sundays, rice porridge on Good Friday, and dry-peas cook-up with absolutely tasty, well-done, stuffed baked chicken on Christmas Day. I used to marvel at the way people would drop in on her unexpectedly, and she always had food to give them. Though she left me more than a decade ago, she’s still living in my memory as a loving and doting grandma.
TD Jakes, a renowned Televangelist, in his book “Repositioning Yourself – living life without limits” shared this about his grandmother- that she always kept her savings account in an old coffee can on the top shelf of her cupboard. Left over grocery money, spare change, or an unexpected gift were all deposited.  She would let it accumulate into quite a nest egg, until she was ready to purchase a major appliance for her home, or a new something for her grand children.  In my day, we would have used that opportunity to raid that jar to purchase sweets – denying her the privilege of spending her own hard earned savings.
And my experience has thought me that Grandmas don’t just say “that’s nice” — they reel back and roll their eyes and throw up their hands and smile. You get your money’s worth out of them.
But going back to the young grandmothers of today, are they earning the title “grand” prematurely? Are they so young that they must become pregnant the same time as their daughters?  This happens to be the story of Mary, a grandmother whom I had interviewed. Both she and her daughter were expecting babies two days apart.
So, I wonder if the “modern” grandmother could adequately pass on morals and virtues as her grandmother had the time to do; and if she would really find that becoming a grandmother is wonderful. Would she be able to face the fact that one moment she is just a mother and the next she is expected to be all-wise and prehistoric? If you can, dear young grandmother, then enjoy your grandmotherhood!
I owe it to my grandmother’s memory, and to her legacy, not to whine about anything; and even when life has dealt me bad cards, and adversities come along the way, not lose the lessons she has taught me. So, grandmother, teach on! Live on! Have fun!