MY WIFE is obsessed with Facebook, and I’m afraid it is damaging our marriage. We have been married three years and both work fulltime. We have a two-year-old that goes to daycare every day.
We used to alternate picking up our daughter at daycare, and now my wife insists on going every day. She has developed a friendship with one of the other fathers, and I am suspicious. They often text and Facebook each other.
The other day I saw a text from him that I felt was flirtatious. When I confronted my wife, she went into denial, then deleted all previous texts between the two of them. She insists she has nothing to hide.
When she goes out with her girlfriends, leaving me home with our daughter, she forgets to wear her wedding ring. Also, she cuts me out of any Facebook photos. Recently, she changed her voicemail message to just her first name, instead of her first and last names.
Other than these few things, I have no proof of her cheating. My question is: Is she cheating on me?

Ken,
Daniel Webster, the 19th Century American lawyer and politician, was so famous for his powers of oratory that a short story was written about him. In ‘The Devil and Daniel Webster’, Webster is shown out-arguing the devil for a man’s soul.
In an actual trial, the murder-for-hire of Captain Joseph White, Webster was the prosecutor. Though he lacked direct evidence of the defendants’ guilt, they were convicted. Webster showed that a “fearful concatenation of circumstances” implicated the defendants, and he demonstrated how circumstantial evidence can be even more damning than direct evidence, such as witness testimony.
In looking at your letter, we count 10 incriminating facts involving your wife, ranging from picking up your daughter solo, to deleting texts, to cutting your face out of photos. Her actions demonstrate a fearful concatenation of circumstances.
Perhaps one or two could be explained away; not 10. The most favourable interpretation is: She is preparing to leave you. The second most favourable is she is preparing to cheat. The least favourable is she is already cheating.
The worst thing an adulterer does is set up their new life while deceiving their spouse about the state of the marriage. Her response to marriage problems has been to find a new partner. It is as if she has put you in the role of parent, watching her child. You are assuredly not in the role of her husband.
You say, “Other than these few things, I have no proof of her cheating.” Criminals are convicted every day on less evidence. Not even Daniel Webster could make a good case for your wife’s fidelity.
Wayne & Tamara