I’M HOPING you can help me discover the moral answer to a dilemma I recently encountered. I know I am not the only woman who has faced, and will face, this question, so I do hope you will print an Relationship Advice – This Week’s Columnanswer. I recently met a very nice (I thought) man who lives about 40 miles away. We had a very nice date, and he was the perfect gentleman. I eagerly accepted a second date with him in my locale. We had drinks, and he drank more than he should have, which is where my question comes in.

As we drew the evening to a close, he asked if he could hang at my house for awhile, so he wouldn’t have to drive 40 miles under the influence. I did not like this because I’m used to guys using this ploy to try to become intimate, and because people should be responsible and not drink too much when they need to drive.

If I said no, that meant I could be putting him on the road to, at best, get a DWI and, at worst, kill someone. (I don’t know how intoxicated he was; he seemed fine to me.) Against my better judgment, I allowed him to come into my home, where he almost immediately set on the path to become intimate with me.

When I tried to send him home, he said he still was in no position to drive. I allowed him to stay and kicked him out in the early a.m. I’m still angry because I had laid out my boundaries very clearly. I didn’t want him in my house, and I did not want to be intimate. But he obviously cared little about my feelings.

In the future, what are my moral obligations in this situation? Do I tell him to drive home, make him sleep in his car (which means he’ll drive home), or allow him to sleep on my couch (which puts my safety in danger and simply isn’t what I want)?