The 3rd of September …
IT WAS September 3, and sixteen-year-old Kim, just graduated from secondary school with good grades, was all excited about going on her first date with her boyfriend, Eon, a second-year economics major. For one year straight, since meeting for the first time, they’d spent very little time together, since they were both preparing for examinations, and Kim’s parents didn’t think she should let anyone or anything interfere with her performance at her CSEC examinations.

However, they made it up with regular phone calls and text messages; Church outings and youth club meetings; and dining at the most exotic restaurants in town, basking in oriental opulence.

Eon, 21 was from a decent middle-class family, and worked part-time when not at University. But Kim’s parents always insisted that she get home before the sun went down. It was a rule of thumb in the home.

In fact, whenever she raised the question of dating with her parents, her father would stare her over his spectacles as if to say: “You couldn’t be mad!” And her mother, trying to strike a reasonable balance between the two, would remind her that exams were just a few weeks away and when it was all over, they’d be ready to consider allowing her to date.  In fact, it was agreed in advance that Eon would take her to the prom.

But to both Kim’s and Eon’s dismay, the Principal announced a few weeks before graduation that this year around, the school would not be having a prom. Unbelievable! This announcement dealt not only Kim and Eon a devastating blow, but practically the entire graduating class. And whilst she could not speak for her fellow students, silently Kim knew that it was practically her biggest disappointment.

That night at the graduation, Kim was elegantly dressed and looking as cute as ever.  As she confidently walked up the stage to receive her certificate and proudly returned to her seat, Eon, cheering wildly along with her parents and others, looked admiringly and longingly at her, but that was as much as he was able to do, for her parents offered him a ride home in their car, saw him open the gate, then drove off with their precious little Kim in the back seat.

Back at home, Kim hastened up to her room and cried like a baby, unknown to her parents. The ensuing weeks quickly elapsed and before she knew it, it was September 3, and she  turned 17.  In keeping with a promise her parents made on graduation night, she would be allowed to go out on a date with Eon. 

And now the day had come. Not only was it a celebration of her excellent academic performance, but it was also her seventeenth birthday, and she now held the key of maturity, or so she felt.  Inasmuch as she thought the day special, being her birthday, she experienced a bit of ambivalence, since  she wanted the excitement of the day to run on, but yet was eager for the daylight hours to be out of the way so she could spend quality time with Eon later that evening.

Sure enough, the time came, and at 19:30h, he arrived, looking really dapper.  He brought her a beautiful birthday gift, carefully handed it to her, and kissed her gently on the forehead, wishing her a very happy birthday. 

That night, Eon did everything to make her feel like a princess, and naturally, instead of dining in an oriental setting, savouring the best of Chinese cuisine as they would normally do, he took her to a ‘Princess’ facility, and she, in all her innocence and naiveté, never wondered why.

They had a sumptuous dinner, listened to fine music by the poolside, holding hands as they gazed into each other’s eyes.  Then later, Eon decided he’d take her on a tour of the breathtaking facility. Feeling honoured, she readily agreed.

As they proceeded along the corridor, Eon, gently put his left arm around Kim’s waist, paused outside one of the doors on an upper floor, and, slipping a key into the lock, kissed her on the forehead once more and asked:  “How about if we viewed this one?”

She was hesitant and looked up at him questioningly. “But…but… What are you up to?” she enquired nervously. As he door opened, she beheld what seemed to her like a Paradise.

Initially, she was  reluctant to venture inside.  Too stunned even to say anything further, she gasped and was speechless. Should she dare?  After all, her parents had been so protective of her, building such a protective bubble around her, it sometimes seemed they wanted to insulate her from the rest of the world.

Kim withdrew rather nervously, muttering: “But you know I shouldn’t, Eon …”  Almost pleadingly,  he placed his other hand around her waist, kissed her again, and gently led her deeper into the room where he switched a dim light on and offered her a seat.

So fascinating it was, she was literally swept off her feet.  What she did not know was that he was no stranger to the hotel, and had carefully strategised and booked the room in advance.    

After settling in, he asked her what she would have to drink, but not being familiar with the selection, she smiling replied:  “I think I’ll let you choose.”

“Cognac would be good, I think,” came the reply.

Kim hadn’t a clue what that was, and when the waiter arrived, was surprised to find that it was so strong, she soon began feeling jittery.

Eon switched the television on, and together they viewed a wonderful movie under dim lights.  But it wasn’t long before they both lost interest in the movie…

(To be continued…)
A CASE FOR ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS
In a world where young people are constantly confronted or bombarded with situations where they are called upon to make decisions about doing things which could adversely affect their health, moral values, continued education, among other things, being equipped with ‘Assertiveness Skills’ has proven very useful in helping them come out successful.

Being Assertive is being able to tell someone how you feel, what you want or need in a way that doesn’t threaten, punish or put them down.  In short, it is being able to express oneself without anxiety or fear.

Assertiveness is a skill, meaning that it is something that we learn, not something that we are born with. It entails direct and honest communication between people, rather than hoping the other person will figure out what’s on your mind.  The other person may not agree, accept or want the same things you do, but you can feel satisfied, knowing that you expressed yourself while considering the other person’s feelings.

It is important that you let him or her know in no uncertain terms that it is not the right thing for either of you.  You may proceed to state some of the consequences, but firmly let him or her know that you will not compromise your standards.  Do not be afraid of being frank with them, for fear of how they will feel or react.  Let them know that they should either respect your decision or back off.

What does being non-assertive mean?
Being non-assertive means that you fail to express yourself in a situation.  You may not tell the other person how you feel, or what you want or need. For example, agreeing to have sex, using drugs of alcohol when you prefer not to, or know you should not. When you are non-assertive, you often have poor eye contact, hesitant speech, low voice level or nervous body movements.

In a world where young people are constantly confronted or bombarded with situations where they are called upon to make decisions about doing things which could adversely affect their health, moral values, continued education, among other things being equipped with asse
rtiveness skills has proven very useful in helping them get on top of the situation.

ANSWER AND WIN YOURSELF A PRIZE
We urge our young readers (aged 14 to 21) who would have read the above story to do the following:

(1)    Attempt a brief conclusion to the above story

(2)   With your knowledge of HIV/AIDS, think of and document some of the possible consequences of the young couple’s trysting

(3)   Do you think that the application of ‘Assertiveness Skills’ could have influenced a different outcome of the young couple’s date? Elaborate.

Prizes will be offered for the best three responses, and these will be published in a future edition of our HIV/AIDS Mail Box. 

HURRY!  Send your responses to: The Guyana Chronicle HIV/AIDS Mailbox

Lama Avenue

Bel Air Park

Georgetown

Or the following e-mail address: waronhiv@yahoo.com

Good luck

Shirla